Hi guys, so as the title suggests, how can you tell if, when something seems 'off' and its keeping you awake at night, If it's gut instinct or just caution from being bitten before.

Many many years ago my ex husband lied.
All the time, as an example, once our daughter came in with his mobile, ( she had been playing a game on it) a message had come in and as she clicked the button the message displayed, so she came to me, to put the game back on.

Unfortunatley for my ex husband it was a message from one of his friends slagging his wife (ME) off for something I had apparently done.
'If she can screw about, you are well within your rights to sh** Amy and anyone else you can'
Something along those lines.
I looked up at my husband, eye to eye and said excuse me?? He took the phone deleated the message and said that it was nothing.
10 minutes later he was telling me I had near enough imagined the whole thing!!
That was typical of his lying, to my face even when cornered. Short version divorce.

Years and years later, I am finally 'seeing' someone.
Someone I have known for over a year, who I get on really well with, doesnt live to close, so isnt too demanding....

Now I just have this feeling that something is off, I would say a gut feeling that he is not being entirely truthfull and upfront. Also there seems to be some mind games happening here, But how do I know that my previous experiences are not making me over sensitive - or expecting ( looking) for trouble?

Even to my own mind, I think I am more than confused.. Any advice ?
Thanks,

Most peoples gut instincts are usually correct and its the brain or if you like heart that says everything is fine and dandy,If you genuinly think somethings iffy then you either need to discuss it or let it cool for a while or both.
Hope it goes well...

I dont know about you all but any time in my life I haven't trusted my gut instincts I have regretted it. They are there to protect us.

Are you laying awake half the night because you are thinking about it, or because you can't not think about it ?

That may sound like the same thing, but it really isn't. If you're laying in bed and it pops into your head, then it'll be an instinct, rather than thinking about it in the secluded silence that your bedroom offers.

From the way you described it though, i would say it's a little of both. I know, diplomatic answer, but think about it. You've been hurt before so you look for the signs, which you may have subconsciously picked up and now your gut letting you know about it.
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I agree that instincts tell you a lot, they allow you to tap into unconscious signals. What can you do though besides either carry it on and see where it goes or have it out with them and ask if you are being 100% truthful to your heart?
My own opinion would be that life is too short to wait around, so I would just ask and see how that leaves me feeling.

Thanks guys, it's a work in progress......
Do I recognise a familiar hiding as a stranger, back amongst us? ..... Scottie? (got my hopes up now....)

I'm so jaded by past relationships people keep on singing lines to me from the musical 'Jesus Christ Superstar':

Judas
You sad pathetic man - see where you've brought us to
Our ideals die around us and all because of you
But the saddest cut of all -
Someone has to turn you in
Like a common criminal, like a wounded animal
A jaded mandarin
A jaded mandarin
Like a jaded, faded, faded, jaded, jaded mandarin

Jesus
Get out! They're waiting! Get out! They're waiting!
Oh! They're waiting for you!

You're using a dating site. I can't imagine why he might have got the idea you are cheating.