God my herpes is playing up tonight ..dont mind if I scratch do you?

hello hilda..er ingrid....sorry, what is your name?

norman bates is my hero

I only shit myself when im really nervous...and that only happens on first dates!! .....Argh!!!!

sorry about the smell, ive got terrible wind

Sorry im late, i had to wax my back!

can we hurry this up...got another date in 20 minutes

please dont let me have a knife with dinner the doc sayd it will take a few weeks for the meds to start working.

wow you're fatter than i thought you would be, you must just be really photogenic "actually had someone say this to me"

hi im blah blah lets go eat and go back to your's, i cant stay out to late and can't go to mine as the missus will go spare.

wow its so nice to meet you, sorry if i scratch alot i think the bird i met last night had crabs.

so how much will i have to pay tonight

I find a simple, "Hi. You'll do." works pretty well.

It buys the drinks or it gets the hose.

female to male ..... I wanna have your babies