I'll start it off then

'Sorry i'm late, I couldn't find a place to tie up the horse...'

Darn it...just realised this should go in the 'jokes' section really....
Awww what the heck, let's go with it...

What? That blood? Oh no, it's my flatmate's. Yeah, I know I said I don't have a flatmate - I don't...anymore.

sorry my other date ran late?

Oh now that's a good one!

How about, "Hey can we stop off at that petrol station? I think I left my pajamas in their restroom"

(re-de-americanised)

"When I was watching you from the bushes at the end of your garden the other day, I wondered if that tattoo on your butt is a rose or a lions head?"

I voted for Bush, and I'd do it again.


(note: the above statement is fictitious for the purpose of conforming to the forum topic, and in no way reflects the political views of the poster or any of the poster's subsidiaries or parent corporations)

God my herpes is playing up tonight ..dont mind if I scratch do you?

hello hilda..er ingrid....sorry, what is your name?

norman bates is my hero

'So, do you know any good all-night bare-knuckle fight clubs?'

I only shit myself when im really nervous...and that only happens on first dates!! .....Argh!!!!

my ex posed nude for me what can you do to top that

o i forgot my wallet bills on you

i share a bed with my mum but you can come round if you like for some action

dont worry about giving me head i can give it myself