I'm refering to myself..

I feel kinda nasty at the moment and wondered what other people do in the same situation..

Basicly i have a profile on another dating site which allows you to see who's viewed you and i have to say.. a solid 75% of the people who have, are really not that good looking. I feel like i'm being shallow by thinking it, but lets face it, when you cut the 'it's not all about looks' bollox out of it, there has to be an initial attraction or it'll never go anywhere. (i refer to it as window shopping)

I know i'm not exactly a good looking guy and i don't really have a great deal going for me at the moment but i think i can do 'better' if you will.

(btw, the other 25% live like.. stupidly miles away so that aint gonna happen. lol )

So.. Does everyone have this problem or am i really as shallow as i think i am
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I don't think it's shallow. You can't really help who you are/aren't attracted to, and at the end of the day, that attraction makes the difference between a relationship and being just friends. It's a gut feeling I suppose.

What may be shallow is making a more conscious decision about whether to date someone, ie finding them attractive but dismissing them because they are too short/fat/pale or whatever.

shallow is just a word thats used, like when your ex is pissed at you, your penis is magically 4 inches smaller in her head. It's said persons way of dealing with a type of rejection, by saying you're shallow.

To me the meaning of shallow is not getting to know a person because of their looks, it's not just about a relationship sense.

At the end of the day, you'll have to wake up next to that person and you can bet if the shoe was on the other foot they wouldnt be so quick to call themselves shallow. But yeah, not being someones friend because of their face? that would be shallow. So, do you choose your friends based on how they look?

I take it you are going by pics Stu??

It will probably be true that you wont fancy the majority of them...but sometimes you never know until you meet them.

There has been a few women I've met that I've changed my views on after meetting them.

If they are local, just meet them if you get on with them. You might have a surprise

Its not really shallow if you genuinely don’t fancy them...you have to fancy them but sometimes that can take 2-3 times looking at them.

I wouldn’t say profiles and pics are a great way of picking a special friend

I agree that it shouldn't matter what your friends look like and that is shallow BUT I have had communication on the web with a few people that have said they want friends and when they'd seen my pic they change their mind or tell me "You're not my type" in which case I guess I've just discovered that they've not told me the truth in the first place.
Quite frankly, I don't care what my friends look like.
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Theres nothing wrong with wanting to find someone attractive at all and I think its wrong when people make you feel bad about wanting to fancy someone, I mean if someone is happy to settle with someone then thats up to them, but why should anyone settle?

Bottom line is looks are important, i cant see how anything can work if you dont fancy the person? There would be no passion or desire and that can keep a relationship alive! yes it isnt everything and you need a personality and to be able to get on with the person, make you laugh and all that stuff for a relationship to work of course.

If someone thinks looks are not important at all then they clearly are desperate for anything..... but someone who would be happy to date a plank of wood all cos they are hot aint worth jack shit either!

Interesting replies...

However..

I didn't join the dating sites to find friends.. admitedly i've actually found two old school friends and the chat on here 'was' a pretty good place to chill, but ultimately, i'm looking for someone to be more than friends with ( i know that the 'right one' is normally your lover and best friend all in one) but.. well, that's just the way i'm looking at it !

i'm not sure if that actually makes sense.
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No Stu, you aren't shallow.

To form a lasting relationship, you need to have a mutual physical attraction as well.

Shallow is Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie et al, judging people solely based on what labels they wear, the clubs they frequent, etc. That bullshit is not you.

A relationship with no physical attraction is just like a relationship with no mental attraction...doomed.
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i think most ppl are shallow , i dated a girl with scars to her face, fantastic girl , but what i liked about her was her personality , the scars didnt matter . seems today that most ppl look on the outside and never bother to scratch the surface to find the person inside .

You can find the roughest of looking people attractive, and the prettiest quite ugly character-wise. It's swings and roundabouts. There has to be an attraction though, aesthetically.

Male or female, no-one wants to live with or marry someone who is so unattractive that when they wake up in the morning and turn over in bed and look at them, it drains the life right out of them just seeing their ugliness! Finding them so unattractive you don't even want to do naughty stuff with them means its curtains for your confidence too!

You cannot go from a photo on a profile though. A person can look good in a pic and plain in person, and, vice versa. I met someone once who look gorgeous in her pics, but in person she had no personal hygiene, stank of B.O., and i refused to kiss her goodbye when i saw blood from her gums wicking into her drink. And if you think that's made up, it isn't.

Neither is the case where i met someone in a McDonalds car park, and even at 30m away, i though it was the elephant man getting out of a car (there was no pic on her profile). I ran into the building, looked for a window in the gents to escape from (there wasnt one) then asked staff if there was a rear entrance i could use to get away through (there wasnt one) and so, a very sphincter-relaxing stomach-spasming time was had facing someone who was so ugly i felt i was going to pass out. Absolutely no physical redeeming feature at all and... the worst aspect was... she was so kind, caring, genuine and honest, i've never experienced all those qualities in anyone else before, even though during the hour i was there i had to keep checking the seat of my pants for diarrhoea, and everybody clapped after she'd gone as they could then start eating again (that last bit is made up by the way, the rest of it isn't).

It was heartbreaking to see that she'd only ever be able to have love with a family pet... bit like me really (the dog i must be huh!) - but i have to admit that without the aesthetics being there to bridge the gap - not even a footbridge's worth - Mr Winkie would never EVER have been able to play ball... not even with a splint!!!!!

So no, you're not vain! Just human... as opposed to me who has rubber skin. And all you have to think is, there's someone for everyone. If a bird can fancy and straddle Prof. Stephen Hawking, with the arms removed from his wheelchair, then there's hope for us all... well... of a sort...