Me and this guy were together for nearly 3 years, we haven't always been the perfect couple, we've had our ups and downs but we've always come through stronger. Over the past year it's been perfect, but recently we started arguing over petty things. One night when i was drunk, a guy who liked me started telling me things about my then bf, stuff like he'd cheated on me. I didn't really believe him, but if someones telling you stuff like that you listen. So I went off on my own with him to talk and we ended up in his car where i fell asleep. Nothing happened, and it never would, we just literally talked. But my then bf and this guy didn't get on and had history. So when my bf got told about what i did he flipped and ended up finishing with me. I really can't believe he'd let 3 years go like that, but I understand he's hurt. He won't talk to me and is refusing to meet me. I really want him back and don't know how to go about it..any suggestions?

Have you tried writing him a letter, and putting down everything that happened and how you feel? That sometimes can help in a lot of instances.

Too be honest, I might find it hard to believe nothing happened if I were him. But then it depends on how much he trusted you and how jelious he is.

But it isnt easy to make someone like you or win them back, if they think you have let them down in a big way.

good luck

I kinda know a little about letting relationships go just to pull them back in again like it was a sport, the first initial challenge of getting them just wasnt enough. Power trips are dangerous, and they're devastating to the people you're with.

But he isnt on a power trip, you spent the night in one of his friends cars and that's an unforgettable offense that you cant claw your way back from easily at all.

Don't tell him it was a mistake that you didn't mean to do it etc because that insinuates guilt. If he believes from your own words that you're not proud of sleeping in the car, then hes going to think you slept with him.

Tell him that YOU needed HIM right then and he wasnt there, so you went for advice and spoke about HIM all night and fell asleep.

But really, only you can get him to forgive you and many people might not agree with me on this, but ive done it over and over. Everyone has power over someone in their life, 3 years you should know his weak spots, the parts of him that you can manipulate for your own good..if you're comfortable with that and can justify it to yourself, then manipulate him to forgive you.

Thanks for your replies
Whats so frustrating is hes done pretty much exactly the same thing before, and when he apologised i let it go, yet when I do it, it's like the end of the world. And i was sat in the guys car for about 45 minutes, it wasn't like i was with the guy the whole night. But he won't listen to me, he's just taking what he heard and believeing it without giving me a chance to speak.
Although he has dumped me a few times before, over little tihngs, and then come back after a while, but I'm just not sure this is one of those times.
The letter idea is a good one, thansk, I think i might leave it a couple of weeks to give him space,a nd then write him a letter.
And I'm not sure how to use his weknesses against him at this point, because he won't even talk to me :/
But thanks again for your replies xx

If you have to 'win' someone, they are not worth the effort. It sounds too much like the push-pull of co-dependency to me, and that's not good for either of you. Personally, I'd just move on.

Oh I know. Done it myself in the past. That's why nowadays I hold a raffle instead - less emotionally draining and greater odds of winning... now let's look at the facts:

Arguing over petty things (typically means the relationship’s coming to an end).
Dumped over petty things repeatedly before, but then comes back (eventually, they don't).
Drunk (bad state to be in in any relationship).
Allegations of cheating (why would they be being made).
Falling asleep in a guy who ‘likes’ you’s car (hmm… worrying).
Bf and mate having bad history (double trouble).
Bf now won’t talk to her (as before).
Done it repeatedly before (has become habitual).
Now thinking of using his 'weaknesses' against him (worrying).

Would you want a relationship like this for either party, and for when there are future children involved? Not me.

Sounds like the bf wanted it to end and finally got an excuse. One or other person's frustration levels would have to get high enough to finally make the break. It's become addictive. I personally would learn from it all and just not go back. But that's me, and I only speak from my own experiences. And no... Jeremy Kyle isn't an icon of mine, I just try to be reasonable.

I agree with scriptwriter. He's your priority while you're merely an option. That should never happen. Ever.

i agree with Itae your the one who played the away fixture so its up to you to convince him you will never do it again

You should'nt have to win anyone back, once it's broke dont bother fixing it, it just wont work the same again

Three years and no commitment for the future. He has patterned behavior that you are making excuses for him. Dont let him manipulate you like that. Let it go. If he comes back to you, then you have some serious talkin to do! Good luck, love is hard to walk away from!

Three years and no commitment for the future. He has patterned behavior that you are making excuses for him. Dont let him manipulate you like that. Let it go. If he comes back to you, then you have some serious talkin to do! Good luck, love is hard to walk away from!

if you have to win someone back and a simple sorry and honesty doesnt do it then id walk away .