mmmmm sides..

and 2 finger kit kats, their the best

I am heir to the throne of a small European country. My father recently passed away, but my mother immediately married my uncle, making him the King, rather than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, my father visited me as a ghost to inform me that he had actually been murdered by my uncle!

My sister's gone mad with grief and wanders around singing sad songs all day. I'm worried that she might do something stupid. And to top it all, some stupid gravediggers have dug up the skull of my favourite jester.

How on earth do I sort this one out?

"kill them all, let god sort them out"

Stoozola, that is the finest synopsis of Hamlet that I've ever read. Have you considered a career as a theatre critic?

And Bliss23 - poisoned rapiers? I like your style.[/quote]

I have been captured by cannibals, and they intend to kill and eat me tomorrow! According to their tribal traditions, I have to make one last statement before I die. If they decide that the statement is true I will be burned at the stake. If they decide that it is false I will be boiled in oil.

What can I say to (hopefully) get out of this one?

If you say "If the statement I make is false, you will eat me", that should get you out of it.

Oh Lord, I forgot all about this one. Where were we?

Baggiebhoy - that`s a true statement unfortunately, so I would burn at the stake.

Stoozola - fine creative thinking once again, but they`ve told me that they prefer the taste of smokers. Makes you more tender, apparently.

Any other suggestions?

[/quote]How about saying...I will die by being boiled in oil?[/quote]

Oh, she`s done it again!

I nominate Kizz to be the first Flirtbox `Brain Ninja`. If somebody would care to second me (CostaCork?) we can make it official.

For situations like this I always recommend a bucket mixed with one part warm water, one part lemon juice and one part vinegar.

Not only will it bring those tiles up a treat, but any leftover can be used to temporarily blind the angry husband, giving you time to scarper through the nearest exit.