I dont forgive

I also dont forget

even if i was daft enough to forgive forgetting is another thing entirely once trust is broken its rarely mended and it is afterall the basis of a decent loving relationship

I forgave an ex's one night stand, because it was just one night, and within the first week or two of our relationship. Looking back I kind of wish I hadn't, because although he never cheated again, he was an arsehole to me in so many other ways. Even if you can forgive the act, I think maybe you shouldn't overlook the fact that cheating may be pretty good evidence that your partner is simply not v good relationship material. I mean, at best it show lack of respect, at worst it can be outright cruelty.

The way I think is ... if i find out they cheated, they say "its only the once"

I think .. wonder how many times it happened BEFORE I caught them

No trust
No relationship

we live we learn hey!! totally agree with you danni n kei

Apologies, for this might be a long answer depends on how much information passes down the fingers but I do get to the point at the end but you need the background first.. 8 days ago my (ex) wife walked out one me after 3 months short of 25 years marriage! still very hard to take. She had an affair, well two rolled in to one during and after her mum died 15 years ago. We split up briefly and got back together again.Then last year a 4 month affair that ended December 3rd!!. Her father died 6 weeks ago after a long illness and now she has left. It is easy to label this as emotional trauma.
We did the Relate thing and got on with life, but even after 15 years you still have the rare thought about did I do the right thing staying.
The second time last year was much harder and although we had agreed to work it out it was harder and obviously she wasn't happy although the leaving was a bolt out of the blue. Lots of non-relationship stuff too, depression etc and I have asked her to stay and work it out but I've been told it's over.

I will be very hurt for a long time but I have for today, at any rate, decided to move on.

So can you forgive someone? - not at the time but eventually you do or at least you understand.

But will I forgive this time? answers probably not but worse still is I doubt if I will understand either.

Nope. Cheating covers a lot of ground though. I look at it as just general bullshitting really. If they can lie about the little stuff they can sure has hell lie about the big stuff.

Any hint of that then wave goodbye. It saves a lot of heartbreak in the long run.

I have been cheated on, on a few occassions and even if it's just a drunken kiss or fumble, I won't tolerate it. I am 100% faithful and would expect the same from a partner.