Posts: 436771 Topics: 21978 LOGIN

Favourites

 

Home >> Love & Relationships >> How to recover yourself?

01.08.2010, 06:10 quote

mrmoogly

There was a post very similar to this one made recently, but I didn't want to hijack it with my own problems.

God, I feel a little sad airing my dirty linen in public, but here goes;

Three years ago I mutually ended a five year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. For some reason I had let myself be walked all over - she convinced me to be in a 'covert relationship', got off with my friends in front of me, slept with at least 4 other people (and told me about them), called me whilst scared out of her mind in bed with some other guy...You get the idea. Nearly the worst relationship I can imagine. I started acting a little peculiar, dealing with all the sexual jealousy. Lost many friends.

Three years later I've had one short relationship with an old friend that didn't work out. I can't seem to meet anyone who's interested in me - I'm fine at meeting new people and making friends, but nothing more.

To top it all off, as much as I'd never want to talk to, see, or have anything to do with her ever again she still, three years later, appears in my dreams every couple of months or so.

Am I completely screwed? Does anyone have any advice? It feels like I've tried everything but to no avail...

Thanks for reading

 

01.08.2010, 16:53 quote

scriptwriter

Buy Dr Richard Bandler's: "Get the life you want" book, with hypnotic/NLP CD in the back. It works, and has chapters on: Getting on with it, Getting through it, and Getting over it. And, it's quick.

 

02.08.2010, 05:49 quote

mrmoogly

I'm usually incredibly sceptical of self-help guides. But I guess it's not incredibly expensive so it might be worth a shot.

I've tried everything I can to move on from this horrible part of my life, but it seems to loom over me like a massive black cloud. If this works I'll be soooo bloody happy.

 

02.08.2010, 12:16 quote

grooveme
grooveme Joined: 23 Aug 2008 Posts: 1532 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
View user's profile Visit poster's website

Sometimes people never get over their first love. But time really is the best healer. You might never get over her completely but as time goes on you will think less about her.
_________________
I'm a humble person...I'm really much greater than I think I am!

 

02.08.2010, 17:53 quote

scriptwriter

I actually invested in a winch to help recover myself for when I skid off the road and down bank sides. You can bolt them on the front or the rear!!!

 

02.08.2010, 20:21 quote

mrmoogly

grooveme wrote:
Sometimes people never get over their first love. But time really is the best healer. You might never get over her completely but as time goes on you will think less about her.


Thanks Groove, though I'd say I was more infatuated than in love. The problem isn't that I still think about her in that way, it's the damage to my self-esteem and my resentment for allowing myself to get this messed up! I don't know if the problem is that I haven't moved on enough (hard to believe after three years!), or that I just haven't had anyone to really distract me.

On the plus side I've just started a more regimented grooming routine to maintain a pencil moustache which actually does a fair bit for my confidence XD

 

02.08.2010, 21:13 quote

bounderushu

I think, perhaps, for a lot of people this site is more useful as a confidence building tool, preparing them for real world dating. People start chatting on here, which builds their self esteem, then go and meet someone else in real life.

 

02.08.2010, 23:17 quote

scriptwriter

That's exactly what i did. I progressed from talking to drunks, cheating wives, drug addicts, psychopaths, the mentally ill, cheaters, users, scammers, the diseased and perverts on-line - to then meeting people like that in real-life. It's been a real hoot... and my confidence has grown to amazing proportions as a consequence! In fact, I'd recommend it to anyone... especially if they have low self-esteem. If your self-esteem is lower than a snake's ass hole (so low, you can parachute out of the snake's ass hole and still free-fall) then you've everything to gain, so just go for it! I did... ... and look at me now... ...?!!!!!!!

 

04.08.2010, 05:31 quote

mrmoogly

Thanks for the advice everyone - it's definitely a confidence building thing for me. if I get a little success on this site it'll help prepare me for the real dating scene eventually. Hopefully.

I definitely feel like it's more possible to drop all this excess baggage now though.

 

05.09.2010, 02:35 quote

scriptwriter

Don't count on it... when you eventually have a HGV-full of it, you can either sell it or move in!

 

17.09.2010, 19:13 quote

flirtykat

Simply, you haven't got over it yet and moved on. It does take a while/years to get over something like that, sounds traumatic and has changed your life. I'm into dreams and seeing an ex in your dream is significant but not in the way you might think...have a look at http://www.dreammoods.com I know it's a bit odd but I find it interesting at the least.

Hope u manage to work it out!

 

17.09.2010, 20:17 quote

scriptwriter

You could always invest in a cat-o-nine-tails and flog your bare back with it whilst walking through town... could help speed things up, and you may even get offered a role in a religious film...!

 

18.09.2010, 00:20 quote

whysoserious1983
whysoserious1983 Joined: 31 Mar 2009 Posts: 3714 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
View user's profile Visit poster's website

scriptwriter wrote:
I actually invested in a winch to help recover myself

i'd like to know how many people had a thought similar to this on reading the topic title. I know that my first thought was 'tow truck.'
_________________
Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

 

18.09.2010, 16:58 quote

gypsymoon
gypsymoon Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Posts: 2655 Location: United Kingdom, England, Norfolk
View user's profile Visit poster's website

whysoserious1983 wrote:
scriptwriter wrote:
I actually invested in a winch to help recover myself

i'd like to know how many people had a thought similar to this on reading the topic title. I know that my first thought was 'tow truck.'

HAhaha! yeah I too was thinking of where to look for myself.....and similar things.... then I thought of all the men who would have loved this guy's ex and found it all very exciting rather than a negative experience.
_________________
http://arisingmoon.deviantart.com/gallery/#-Fantasy-Art-
http://myriad28.spaces.live.com/

 

18.09.2010, 18:59 quote

scriptwriter

I'm so excited, I'm calling on some truckers who are HGV positive...!

 
 
Jump to:

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum