The old lady in the Vicar of Dibley said to the dippy blond one 'go out with loads of men and sleep with most of them, I wish I had'

Some of my mates were married for 25 - 30 years and most have broken up, in some cases their marriages just fizzled out. But when they got married they expected to be together for life, which most people from the generations before me did. They stuck together through thick and thin, there were a few loveless marriages though.

Reading some of the posts on here, makes me think are some people looking for something that ain't going to happen. Are people now destined to go from one relationship, bit of fun, affair etc, to another. Do we need a whole new outlook on relationships ? Should people totally forget about looking for the love of their life ?

well this is my opinion, years ago people stayed together even tho they wasnt happy, cos that was what you did..

where as now, people tend to want more from life and dont want to be stuck in a relationship thats not working

In the West, relationships are now just as disposable as everything else. Nobody is prepared to go to the trouble of making things work, and in a society where we have too many choices (and this isn't neccessarily a good thing) we've become incredibly selfish. 'Me! Me! Me! Now! Now! Now!' is the order of the day.

We're lazy, selfish and in the end it'll be our downfall. In a world where we're constantly taking the easy way out to become happy, that happiness we're searching for will become all the more elusive. To the detriment of each other. Whether that's ducking out of relationships the moment we don't get our own way, fucking one another over in our career, or turning our back on our family or friends the moment things get tough.

This is not to say that people should stay together when things are hopeless, far from it, but when you hear a lot of couples backbiting about their partners you hear some really petty shit that could potentially 'ruin' their relationship. Whatever happened to 'through thick and thin'?

Sadly, I have a feeling that on a psychological and on a chemical level, humans are designed to get bored with their partners after a finite amount of time, say ten years. Possibly shorter. Old notions of marriage and the associated societal pressures put on people forty years ago and more must have made a lot of people miserable.
I often find it interesting that human's tend to live monogamously. I wonder if anyone has read Will Self's marvellous book 'Great Apes'. That explorea a notion of a society that is based on chimpanzee social rules rather than human ones. Members in society are disgusted at the notion of people having exclusive monogamous relationships, from a mindset where being part of an alpha group is the norm.

NEVER MIND ALL THESE THEORIES I BELIVE TRUE LOVE LASTS FOREVER AND A DAY FULL STOP

I remember my Grandfather saying that one of the hardest things you will ever do in life is enter a marriage or long term relationship. (and he was at Dunkirk). He was right of course, but the root of the problem is people like the easy option the proverbial silver bullet these days. I have heard people say I just wasn’t happy so I got out of the relationship. But it’s easy to run rather than stand and fight. It seems to make perfect sense that sometimes you will hate in a relationship and that you can’t be happy all the time only the deluded would not accept thiss. I don’t want to point out the obvious but relationships are about give and take. That’s doesn’t mean one does all the taking and another all the giving. The key to a good relationship I think is communication e.g. telling your partner what is wrong instead of just moaning to your friends about it. After all how can a person know what is wrong if you didn’t ever tell them. To quote “Winners never quit, Quitters never win" I’m not saying it’s easy but I think this is what is required for success. I think it will be a sad day on earth if people stop believing in long term relationships otherwise all we will be left with is scraps.

''Happy Ever After'' happy endings were created by Disney to sell lots of happy films


Rarely does life work out like that




I'm guessing there are no prince charmings either
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i believe lifeis what you make it if 2 people are on the same wave length and both want to be happy together it can last for as long as you want , and there are some prince charmings out there you just have to give leeway and remember no one is perfect

I was just talking generally, Red.
I hope I end up in one of those 20 year relationships.
Something tells me its not the norm, but I'd like to think that I can learn how to become a great partner and that I will find someone else who also understands.
People do stray though.
Studies done on women have suggested that women in particular are biologically prompted to stray from their partners during the most fertile period of their cycles. Isn't that mad?!?
(http://www.reuniting.info/science/articles/infidelity_evolutionary_call)
Most people want a solid, lasting and consistently fulfilling relationship. The romantic in me certainly does.
I also know that attraction is not a choice though.
We can all dream...