How do you start to trust people again, specifically women, after being continually shit on from a great height?

It has dawned on me recently that I've been incredibly naive and assumed that nice guys (by nice I mean genuinely decent; prepared to help without question, and not just there to lavish compliments on people) are appreciated, when in fact we're just there to be taken advantage of.

I've always had difficulty trusting people, but of late its bordering on paranoia. To the extent where I'm seriously considering becoming 'The Twat', which all women complain about but seemingly can't resist. Being a good guy obviously doesn't work.

So, any suggestions? Is it just a question of a leap of faith? Or do I wait until I come across someone who is just as paranoid and fucked in the head as I am? Over to you internet therapists..!

please do not turn into 'the twat' there are enough of them already!

I think you just have to keep being yourself and if you get 'shit on' then just brush it off - you will learn it pretty early on in a relationship if the woman is going to be a player and get out quick.

I think if you do not open yourself up to the experiences you will never meet anyone.

Like I have said - I have had my heart bruised a few times from the net but no-one has ever managed to break it yet!

Its like i could of written that mysef!

Men do just as much shitting from and great height


And 'nice' women are taken advantage of all the time too!

Being the twatt wont work either.....wont make you happy in the long run will it!

Everyones got baggage but i eagerly await more responses....


(I've found that just expecting the worst at least dulls the pain abit when they turn out to be complete bullshi**ing f*ckanutts)
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Dont become a twat steve, I think youre ace, I love chatting to you.

trust has to b earnt for me

[quote]If someone has betrayed you in the past then it is that person in particular with whom trust needs to be rebuilt if it is possible. It is important that you realize that holding his or her actions against everyone you meet will not protect you from what they did to you. It is already done, and unfortunately cannot be taken back. On the contrary, by refusing to see beyond that event, you may end up alienating yourself from your peers and making it very difficult for you to form meaningful relationships."...[/quote]

very wise words..something I should listen to carefully..

[quote="susiexxx"]

Quote:

If someone has betrayed you in the past then it is that person in particular with whom trust needs to be rebuilt if it is possible. It is important that you realize that holding his or her actions against everyone you meet will not protect you from what they did to you. It is already done, and unfortunately cannot be taken back. On the contrary, by refusing to see beyond that event, you may end up alienating yourself from your peers and making it very difficult for you to form meaningful relationships."...[/quote] very wise words..something I should listen to carefully..

me too!

well i am just too trusting been shat on from a great height in every relationship i have been in, makes me sit here and think what is it i have done, is it something about me. its got to the point where now even though i am still very trusting i find i can never talk about things to do with a relationship through fear of freaking them out or ruining it.
so i tend to walk around with my eyes closed not knowing what is going on till told lol well it works for me cant get hurt that way lol

i know what you mean, but i think nice people often get treated like that, maybe because your forgiving and they can get away with it, its like the old question if you could get away with it wouldnt you?

i put trust in people and they just throw it in my face but there you go thats life i guess. i think the true answer is moderation be nice but also be not so nice. make sure there are lines that cant be crossed and dont give in to early