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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Things in common...

29.11.2007, 00:07 quote

coasttocoast
coasttocoast Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 164 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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Hi All!
In everyones opinion In a relationship should a couple have either a lot of things in common, a lot of differences or nothing in common?
Im currently with someone just now, we have quite a lot in common-broadly the same favourite things and a few other things. But also we have a lot of differences - some things I like to do and she hates to do and vice versa-like for instance she loves cheese and I cant stand the stuff!!!!
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..."all the things i really like to do are immoral,illegal or fattening"...

 

30.11.2007, 21:46 quote

Anonymous

I'm surprised no one else has responded to this yet, so here goes:
Personally, when I am in a relationship I need to have my own pursuits/interests and I need the guy to be the same.
This also for opinions - I don't think it would really work between me and a guy if he and I had very strong opposing viewpoints (eg politics) but it keeps things interesting if you don't just keep saying "Yeah you're right love" all the time either!
As for interests/pursuits its nice to share interests, but we both need our own friends/space/hobbies - I am not one for wanting to be joined at the hip, as it were.

 

30.11.2007, 23:54 quote

Bliss23
Bliss23 Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 4780 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Edinburgh
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It really depends on how much that person means to you... Even at the beginnin of things. I for one preffer people I've got lots in common with. Searchin' for an image of myself me thinks. However, they do say opposites attract, but in my case... That only happens for short flings. Either that or he's got to mean a lot to me so I could get over some stuff he likes and I hate. Especially if the things I hate are a big part of his life.
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01.12.2007, 00:19 quote

Anonymous

Well yeah......if MR PERFECT had pet spiders........nah, he'd suddenly become MR WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER hahahahaha.

 

15.01.2008, 00:42 quote

samatron
samatron Joined: 24 May 2007 Posts: 219 Location: United Kingdom, England, Greater Manchester
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Having lots in common really depends on what it is you have in common!
For example, Amy Winehouse and that muppet she's married to have lots in common. (especially a penchant for a white powdery substance) The things they have in common will either destroy their marriage, kill them or put them in prison.
Meanwhile, Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi also have a lot in common. The things they have in common help them to bond... healthy lifestyle, love of tennis, mountains of cash etc.

 

15.01.2008, 15:49 quote

pasleptsiekare

I think a balance of having some stuff in common, and then some different stuff would be more ideal.

That way, you get to do some of your own thing, if that makes sense?

 

15.01.2008, 19:39 quote

Anonymous

As has been said it would be nice to find someone who enjoyed "some" of the same stuff that you did, but I certainly wouldn’t want someone who liked all the same things. I can’t think of anything more boring than finding a carbon copy, ..after all it’s the individual differences that people bring into a relationship that keeps things exciting and open your eyes to new things.

 

15.01.2008, 19:43 quote

annmarie5988

Like they say opposites attract ........... which i believe is true ........ Smile

 

15.01.2008, 19:50 quote

Anonymous

Think you are right there Ann-Marie!

 

28.02.2008, 13:01 quote

Anonymous

well i like to shag a lot so i'll ve happy finding someone who likes that as much as i do, ....sod all other stuff i can live with that

 

07.03.2008, 19:50 quote

coasttocoast
coasttocoast Joined: 15 Mar 2007 Posts: 164 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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Ive come back to this thread as the relationship that caused me to write the thread ended.
Basic story cut short I met a girl, we had a lot in common like music and telly (well I cant stand Hollyoaks if I can be totally honest!). But we also had a lot of differences. But the chemistry was excellent and things were good!
Im always quite analytical in a relationship; if anything I think too much about a relationship. My mind went into overtime and started picking at the relationship and how were quite different people so much so I started to subconciously push her away and things started to slip. Things got so bad that we agreed to bring things to an end, so we did, but then we got back into things-new beginning but then at the end of the week it fell apart again. After me stopping the bad thoughts in my head, actually wanting it to work and giving a damn about the relationship it ends again! So to me should you have things in common with someone-yeah!
_________________
..."all the things i really like to do are immoral,illegal or fattening"...

 

08.03.2008, 19:11 quote

redelicious
redelicious Joined: 20 Feb 2008 Posts: 1611 Location: United Kingdom, England, Lincolnshire
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My fellah and I have practically nothing in common other than our sense of humour and food Works for us. It's all down to each individual.

I had loads in common with my 2nd husband... perhaps too much Confused

 

08.03.2008, 19:14 quote

Anonymous

I seriously doubt that there is someone out there with much common with me.....

Razz

 

24.03.2008, 13:06 quote

mgd11

I find that there needs to be enough things in common to keep the relationship going, but enough to keep it different - i think around a 60/40 mix is good (i.e. 60% similar, 40% different)

 

01.04.2008, 17:52 quote

sharv84

I think it's pretty vital for the long term. Chris Rock did a great rountine on this which goes:

When you love somebody,
you got to love everything about them.
You got to love the crust.

You can't just love
the white part of the bread.
You gotta love the crust, the crumbs,
the tiny crumbs at the bottom of the toaster.

That's what the real thing is.
Whatever you into, your woman
gotta be into, too, and vice versa...
or the thing ain't gonna work.
lt ain't gonna work.

That's right. lf you born-again,
your woman gotta be born-again, too.
lf you a crackhead,
your woman gotta be a crackhead, too...
or the thing won't work.

You can't be like, ''l'm going to church,
where you going?'' ''Hit the pipe!''
That relationship ain't going nowhere.
But two crackheads can stay together forever.

NB - Substantial use of swear words removed! Laughing

 
 
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