I had quite an enlightening discussion last night, with the lady I've been spending some time with.

It would appear that she still has strong feelings for the man who dumped her (and his two young children) nearly 3 years ago. Not only that, but he left her for the woman he'd been having an affair with for the year previously.

Nevertheless she still loves him, and would contemplate having him back.

Am I missing something here?



tim (quietly walking away into the sunset......)

Yes the point you are missing is "how pathetic". This gets on my nerves.

OK, so kids need a father figure - I understand this but SURELY not after he walked out on them too.

What's worse is she decided to TELL you this? I can't imagine how that must've made you feel.

I am embarassed to be male sometimes with shits like him around.

Sorry to hear that Tim..your lady friend is probably feeling very insecure at the moment..especially if she is starting to have feelings for you..I guess three years isn't no time to get over a failed relationship, especially where children are involved..

Anyway hope she soon comes to her senses and realises she's lucky to see the back of such a loser..

Sorry about that Tim but i think i know why. I used to do this all the time, when i felt i was getting too close to someone. I always thought i wanted a relationship but after a couple of weeks i ALWAYS started to talk about ex's and what they had done/said, etc therefore pushing them away. Although i never actually told any boyfriends i was still in love with any of my ex's.

I think she's scared of getting involved again and obviously not quite ready, but hang on in there. She needs a friend and you never know where that friendship will lead to.

I have never been in a relationship and so have never been dumped. I really miss never having had a relationship though.

Guess you'd still love the person afterwards... My gettin over period is between 2 weeks and a month but some feelings could last for more than a month. It also depends on if you're still running into that person. =)))))))
Don't get dumped often though, I'm usually the dumper.

Keep it simple, ........NO lol

i am in a slightly differnt position , in that i dumped someone that i still had major feelings for, i dont like to say i loved her, cause .. well basiccally i only just recently convinced myself i didnt.

the point is, noone can help how they feel about someone, its not like they can turn it off when they want to, hence love songs are always in the top 10 in the charts, we dont move on that quick, we dwell on things, forever wish that we had said "this" instaed of "that" hoping that it would somehow had made a diffrence.
go over things in our minds and convince ourselves that "they done it as a test " to see if we could pass that test , and we failed .. if only we had done it diffrent...

if someone is still "in love," or "has love" for someone else, then they arent ready to move on, and YOU could never measure up to the warpped and rosetinted image in there minds of this person.
but that is not to say you never will, time heals wounds , but in a sence blurrs reality. sometimes that person in their mind gets better every day, sometimes they get worse.. peopel deal with loss in difrent ways.... but will always need friends.. weather it is to comfort them in times of sadness, or
to just be there to listen, and not judge.
you cant slag of the image of a true love, regardless of how warpped that image is, however tempting it may be to try to blow away the fog and reveal the true image. the fog will lift on its own, some fog is just stubborn and stays a while longer than it should.

( my mental image of my ex , seemed to get better everyday , and invaded my dreams for more than 3 years, but the image was no longer of her, but a composit of her and every soft blonde girl with a passion for the colour pink that i ever saw in a movie, in the end even she couldnt live up to the image , even if she was perfect. things just take time)

Learn to hate.