Ah Tim I can imagine how you might be feeling.
Some people I know get their Decree Nisi and think "woohoo" but others dont.
Myself, I've been separated from my husband for nearly 13 yrs - at first neither of us could face the "official" idea of a failed marriage, but as time has gone by its something I no longer even think about.
Onwards and upwards dear!!

I'd love to get divorced from my ex, but its going to cost around a grand for it to go through court because my boys are not 16 yet ...

Although I have to say it would be a grand well spent, Maybe this year

I'm showing my ignorance here, and I've never actually gotten divorced - but I thought that there is no 'third party blame' any more? Or was that something in the pipeline years ago that never happened?
Do you still have to give the judge a reason he agrees with before you are 'allowed' a divorce?
I thought you just have to agree (with each other, the spouses I mean) that you don't want to be married to each other any more.

ive not been divorced so maybe i am not in a position to comment but i wouldnt have thought it was 20 years wasted, look at all you must have learnt from that relationship over 20 years, about yourself, her, other people, their is always some gold nuggets to take away from a broken relationship, no matter how much it may hurt at the time. that's just my opinion anyway.

I just wanted to say sorry Tim.

Its always a sad time when any reletionship breaks down but there are always the happy memories you shared at one time and now you just have to look forward to a brighter future. x