Following on, and expanding on a previous topic.....

At what stage of a relationship do you feel comfortable saying ‘I love you’?

Do you hold back until a certain amount time has passed, so the other person doesn’t think you’re over-enthusiastic?

Do you wait for the other person to say it first, in case you say it, but they don’t feel that way?

Has someone ever said that they love you, and you said the same back to them, but didn't really love them? You just felt you *had* to say it.

Are there specific trigger points that make you feel you love someone, and tell them? Or do you just blurt it out without thinking?

Do you blurt it out after an intense shared emotional or physical experience?

I said it after spending 2 weeks with my current girlfriend, she stayed at my place for 2 weeks and it was time for her to go home. at the train station before i left her i just felt i needed to tell her so i said " i have fallen in love with you, i hope you will be coming back". It just felt right for me, i had spoken to her for some weeks on the net, on the phone before she came to stay with me and i just loved being with her them first two weeks. Might be a bit soon for some people (usually myself included) but i just decided to run with the feelings i had at the time and i didn't regret saying that afterwards either, so all was good for me and her ;o)

I have often been very reluctant to say ‘I love you’ too soon, or first, as it is usually the kiss of death of the new relationship I have been in.

At first I thought it was a bit too soon for when Mrs Darkhorse (from Stoke, the posh end of course) told me she loved me (of course she loves me, I am a *fine * young man ), and I was a bit quiet for a while, whilst I ruminated on how I felt about her. Perhaps I should have responded sooner than I did, but when I did eventually tell her how I felt about her, at least it was honest, not said in the heat of passion, or as a triviality. Perhaps it would have been nice if I could have responded with the same conviction at the same time, but, well ..... sometimes these things take time, y’know .....

Sometimes I think people use the words ‘I love you’ without any thought at all - it is too easy to end a (for example) telephone call with “Bye, I love you”. When I say that I love someone, I really mean it.

I only ever say it if I mean it.

I just feels wrong if it's not true.

Then again, I haven't said it a lot. So I can't talk from experience.....

1. When I feel it. And no, I don't feel it after 3 minutes... Unless it's Michael Madsen. And then who really cares? =))))))))
2. Not really... However sometimes, even if I feel it, I wait for them to say it first... Don't know why. Oh actually I do. It's because of all that not being too excited. =))))))
3. I just answered that, but hey... It's not because I'm scared of not hearing the same thing, but more like because sometimes I am indeed afraid of not being too enthusiastic.
4. No, fraid not. If I don't feel it I don't lead... Although the "uhuhm" moment is sort of awckward, I must say. =)))
5. Yes of course. Especially if the emotional passage has been lasting for a longggggggggg while. =)))))))) After a physical experience, no, unless again it's Michael Madsen, in which case I'd have I love you MICHAEL tattooed on my forehead so he can see it all the time.

Anyhow... Back to business... I kept on wondering why it's so easy to say I love to your friends and your family and such (if you're somewhat emotionally open of course) and it's so hard to say I love you to your guy/girl. It might be because of the love part. > But mostly I think it's because you connect much more with your guy/girl and that's why sometimes you even lose your friends in their favour. Because there are lots of connections between you two and you're probably scared not to lose them by whispering those bloody three words. =))))))) Or maybe not... What do I know anyway. As for the I love you's... When it comes to men I think I've said the words 3 times so far and one of them wasn't even I love you, but some other blurting experience as in I, uhm... Yeah... Love... Love... Yes. Love... =)))))))
Oh and I have another question... Why do you think I love you kills relationships? Could it be because the other one isn't ready to hear it, because you've whispered it too soon, because they never thought of you that far (or you of them) or maybe just because people are scared of love?
By askin several people I've come to think that lots of people are scared of love, but more like of what LOVE might do to them. As in losing their ALONE time or their freedom, or, of course, GETTING HURT. Chick Chick Chick Chick.
bygone.

Is lust or infacuation misconstrued as love?

Although, having a void filled is a loving feeling.

I had a guy once tell me he loved me and my response was "umm, yeah, thanks, thats sweet...umm..." then, when pushed, "sorry if you were expecting the same back, but it would be a lie" Thus endeth said relationship...yes indeedy very awkward!

Edit (added) : I did think at the time he was a tad unfair not to give me more time to feel the same way...who knows, I might have eventually, eh? I'd only met him in public places (coffee shops and the like) a handful of times over a few weeks. Instead he got all uppety and upset and arrogant and stomped off like a silly little boy, which made me think "well, I doubt I EVER would have fallen for such a muppet anyway after all"...!

You don't need to necessarily tell someone it, but I reckon most people will say it so they can have their conscience settled by the other person confirming that they love them. Then again, some people just aren't happy enough with what you do for them. Anyway, my preference to saying the three words is never. It should be mutually felt between two persons.

I can honestly say I have been in love in my whole life about three times.

The last time I fell in love was over 12 years ago.

Not that I am sad about it though, cos the love lasted for 12 years.

So, I can't really remember when I said it to be honest, but I remember the feelings that came along with it, and the feelings it left behind afterwards too....

As for the future, I don't even know if I will EVER say it again, but I do find myself thinking about love and relationships more often lately.

Now I am beginning to sound depressing......

i've been in love a couple of times and every time i've managed to f**k it up, so i don't think i'll be going in too 'heavy' if ya like if / when ever i have another relationship.

Also, i only ever said i love you, when it felt right, not at the end of a phone call or in a text, face to face is more my 'style'
_________________

Well I'm not entirely sure if I have REALLY been in love before (please don't feel sorry for me, if I don't know it I can't miss it).

I was with my last boyfriend for a long time and I told him I loved him - not regularly - though I feel like I meant it at the time.....

Although when we finally broke up I was really upset for a couple days and then that was it. I missed him a little, but I have never wanted him back. We by no means had a perfect relationship. When he left I felt more relieved than upset. I thought it would effect me more if I had really loved him?