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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Relationship Breakdown Help needed

13.12.2006, 11:56 quote

Anonymous

i can imagine how hurt you must feel, so im sorry to hear that first off. i think you probably need to sit down together and have a good heart to heart, you need to know the real reasons why he feels this way, and from that you can decide wether or not you can put things right. my guess is he has already made his mind up, hence the commitment to buying a house and moving out, but if he still loves you then there could be some hope of sorting it out, if only you can both work through the things that are driving you apart.

i personally dont beleive that people just 'drift apart' i think they 'let it slide' and maybe thats all thats happened? good luck with that anyway, i hope you can find whats best for you both.

 
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13.12.2006, 12:27 quote

Anonymous

chattypuss wrote:
Hi All I really need your help and advice on this one. I'll detail the outline then tell me what you think I should do (by the way, I am in the north, my man originally came from the South) We met through work in May 05 and moved in together. Everything was perfect we were so in love. In August this year I got kept on by the company and he didn't, which put an awful strain on the relationship. Ever since then, he's been distant and withdrawn (which I understood) and he has been in a dead end job since. In October he told me he had bought a house to do up in Devon (just around the corner from his mother) but he said he wanted to find a job. Recently I asked him what we were doing as a couple for xmas, only to be heart broken to be told he was spending it in Devon with his family and that in January 2007 he was moving out to renovate his house. I still truely beleive that once he has got his head back around things and he's renovated his house we stand a chance of getting back what we had. His comments were that he was sick of going around in circles and doesn't envisage our relationship lasting, he asked if we could work on our friendship instead!!!! He did however say that he still loves me, but feels that since September this year we have drifted apart. I think it's down to the fact that he's been bored at work. I really do not know what to do ... I love him, he's my soulmate and I don't want to lose him. Any advice greatly appreciated. xxx


hi..
well the impression i get from this is that his mind is made up..he wants to go back to his parents, find a job there and hes brought a house to renovate there..hes told you that he cant see the relationship lasting and said he wants to be friends. Now this is how he is feeling at the moment..and is probably due to him feeling depressed, pissed off and worthless..
I would say..sit down and talk to him and tell him excately how you feel about him, that you understand how he must be feeling and what he means to you..also think that you should let him go and do what he feels is right..these are big steps he is taking so he is not just having a moment. he needs to sort out his head..maybe the break will then help clear it and put things back into perspective for him and he will realise what you mean to him..i know it sounds shit what i have just said, and probably i will get flak for it, but whats the alternative?..if you try and make him stay i believe this will drive him away further and do more damage..If you make it clear that you understand and that he means a lot to you and you will give him some time...who knows..but dont hang on forever..
sorry

 
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13.12.2006, 12:47 quote

Anonymous

Good to see some excellent replies from both Scottie and Kevin. It's one of the bonus's of these forums, getting a perspective from the opposite love.

I've nothing really to add other than give him a bit of space.

Good luck Chattypuss and welcome to the boards

 
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13.12.2006, 14:27 quote

Anonymous

Welcome Chattypuss and good luck with whatever you decide ..

 
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