What can I say, I just hope you can pick yourself up, move on, start to feel strong again, start to feel good about yourself etc.

All easier said than done.

Chin up Trace (if possible?)

I find it's better to let it out than keep it in. Hope you feeling a tiny bit better for telling us.

Trace

However bad things might have been in the latter part of your marriage, you were still together for 24 years. When a marriage breaks up, for whatever reason it is not only one of the most traumatic things a person can go through, but is akin to someone close dying too. Only thing is, because that person is still alive, there isn't the same kind of closure (very American I know, but the best word I can think of )

You have every right to still be mourning, feel anger/regret/sadness and even despair.

Talking about your feelings and getting it off your chest is a great way to deal with it Trace. I know it's not to everyone's taste, but what about talking to a counsellor. You may already have done so at some point, but getting the duvet out suggests you need someone to talk to again, someone impartial who won't judge.

And do you have a special friend who's great with 'hug therapy'? Someone who'll sit quietly holding you who's willing to help wipe away tears and pass over hankies without pushing or judging you?

I'm too far for that, but my virtual ones are sincere {{{HUGS}}}. Burrow under your duvet as much as you need Trace, but remember to look after yourself too, take care Trace.

Trace - Remember i'm here most of the time if you ever want to takl.

i don't normally reply to these threads because i just dont know what to say lolz i always try to make people smile again , but sometimes you just have to ride it out, hmm maybe it's that you have realised that your whole ordeal is finally over and now you can start afresh but anyways i'll just put "hugz" lol

Glad your feeling bit better trace .. hows the romance going?

i think trace that at first you were all full of anger and resentment for your ex and that led you to a "quiet place" a place where you could ignore your hurt and your moritification to a point... a limbo if you like. you've been in that limbo for a while now... only peeking out every so often and feeling that old anger and you weren't ready for it so you submerged yourself back into limbo for another while. i think at last, you are ready to come out of there and be yourself again. although it will take some time, some patience and some very understanding friends. you will get there. just don't let the bitterness creep up on you. you no longer need the limbo to deal with reality and i am happy for you. it means you are moving on. you were mourning. and everyone is entitled to a mourning period. i once went to the supermarket in my pyjamas to do the shopping and bought all sorts of wierd things... i was in limbo too for a bit. the good thing is that you now realise that your former life is no longer part of you. it's part of your past. not your present. so let it go. let it float away and feel secure in the knowledge that you are moving upwards and onwards and will be you again soon.

i know this might sound corny to the last but try it......

for five minutes every day, be it morning, afternoon, evening or night..... sit in front of a mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself.... i am better than this. i don't need resentment as a bedfellow. i will move on and feel better within myself. i will grow and learn from my experience and i will not hold any bitterness in my heart.
and then visualize your resentment and anger as a balloon.... you are holding the string of it in your hand...... open your hand and see the balloon rise up and up and up and slowly day after day... you won't see the balloon anymore. it'll be gone.

hope you feel better. and don't worry about ranting and raving. we are all friends here.

wooohoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24yrs thats a long time. sorry your feeling down time is the gratest healer and 12 months isn't actually that long for the amount of time you were together. hopefully time to yourself will do you good time to reflect on it all and get things clearer in your head. hope your feeling better soon x