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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Is there such a thing as too honest?

21.10.2008, 21:17 quote

jackburton83

No idea if this is best suited for advice or dating thread so sos in advance if this aint right thread.


Over the last few months ive been thinking about my lack of date or relationship experiences and have started to disect my technique and chat when talking to women on nights out.One of the things my friends point out to me is im too quick to down play a chance of a relationship but i only do that to make sure I aint leading a girl on.Do u reckon I am being too honest or is it best to go with that way of thinking.Im starting to think ive been a bit too soft for my own good.

 

21.10.2008, 21:23 quote

bexbex

So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?

 

21.10.2008, 21:28 quote

jackburton83

bexbex wrote:
So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?


i think the problem is i sleep wi a girl but to make sure i dont marry her about i kind of agree to just the one night so that she cant claim i told her id see her again just so she will sleep wi me.

 

21.10.2008, 22:00 quote

bexbex

Well if you're telling a girl you're only in it for a one nighter, before she even sleeps with you then you need to find some different girls!

And if you're in just for the love then there are other 'ways' of getting it out there.

TBH i don't think you want a relationship at the moment but just need to have love every now and then.

 

21.10.2008, 22:05 quote

jackburton83

bexbex wrote:
Well if you're telling a girl you're only in it for a one nighter, before she even sleeps with you then you need to find some different girls!

And if you're in just for the love then there are other 'ways' of getting it out there.

TBH i don't think you want a relationship at the moment but just need to have love every now and then.


you're maybe right - cheers for the comments Smile

 

21.10.2008, 22:31 quote

bexbex

You're very welcome Very Happy

 

21.10.2008, 22:33 quote

snaithman

Hmm, Bex have you got any advice for me?

 

22.10.2008, 11:28 quote

bexbex

snaithman wrote:
Hmm, Bex have you got any advice for me?


Yes i do, You need to control any urges you might have until 29th November and then everything will just fall into place. I do think you want a relationship, and i think you might have been in touch with the woman that could possible rock your boat, but i guess meeting her will be the decider on that one.

 

22.10.2008, 12:19 quote

jeggae

jackburton83 wrote:
No idea if this is best suited for advice or dating thread so sos in advance if this aint right thread.


Over the last few months ive been thinking about my lack of date or relationship experiences and have started to disect my technique and chat when talking to women on nights out.One of the things my friends point out to me is im too quick to down play a chance of a relationship but i only do that to make sure I aint leading a girl on.Do u reckon I am being too honest or is it best to go with that way of thinking.Im starting to think ive been a bit too soft for my own good.


jackburton83 wrote:
bexbex wrote:
So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?


i think the problem is i sleep wi a girl but to make sure i dont marry her about i kind of agree to just the one night so that she cant claim i told her id see her again just so she will sleep wi me.


Is there any kind of deeper problem why you do this?...Have you ever had a relationship?

Sounds a bit like me.

 

22.10.2008, 14:17 quote

snaithman

bexbex wrote:
snaithman wrote:
Hmm, Bex have you got any advice for me?


Yes i do, You need to control any urges you might have until 29th November and then everything will just fall into place. I do think you want a relationship, and i think you might have been in touch with the woman that could possible rock your boat, but i guess meeting her will be the decider on that one.

And who would that be then?

Do I need to control my urges on and after the 29th November then?

It would probably wise, don't you think?

 

22.10.2008, 18:22 quote

jackburton83

jeggae wrote:
jackburton83 wrote:
No idea if this is best suited for advice or dating thread so sos in advance if this aint right thread.


Over the last few months ive been thinking about my lack of date or relationship experiences and have started to disect my technique and chat when talking to women on nights out.One of the things my friends point out to me is im too quick to down play a chance of a relationship but i only do that to make sure I aint leading a girl on.Do u reckon I am being too honest or is it best to go with that way of thinking.Im starting to think ive been a bit too soft for my own good.


jackburton83 wrote:
bexbex wrote:
So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?


i think the problem is i sleep wi a girl but to make sure i dont marry her about i kind of agree to just the one night so that she cant claim i told her id see her again just so she will sleep wi me.


Is there any kind of deeper problem why you do this?...Have you ever had a relationship?

Sounds a bit like me.


aint had one mate Embarassed

 

22.10.2008, 18:29 quote

fireinmyheart
fireinmyheart Joined: 02 Oct 2008 Posts: 1597 Location: United Kingdom, England, Buckinghamshire
View user's profile Visit poster's website

I've been reading these post's and I'm a bit confused. Do you want a relationship?

 

22.10.2008, 18:37 quote

jeggae

jackburton83 wrote:
jeggae wrote:
jackburton83 wrote:
No idea if this is best suited for advice or dating thread so sos in advance if this aint right thread.


Over the last few months ive been thinking about my lack of date or relationship experiences and have started to disect my technique and chat when talking to women on nights out.One of the things my friends point out to me is im too quick to down play a chance of a relationship but i only do that to make sure I aint leading a girl on.Do u reckon I am being too honest or is it best to go with that way of thinking.Im starting to think ive been a bit too soft for my own good.


jackburton83 wrote:
bexbex wrote:
So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?


i think the problem is i sleep wi a girl but to make sure i dont marry her about i kind of agree to just the one night so that she cant claim i told her id see her again just so she will sleep wi me.


Is there any kind of deeper problem why you do this?...Have you ever had a relationship?

Sounds a bit like me.


aint had one mate Embarassed


As I've said on here on numerous occasions, neither have I mate, although I've had loads of chances.

What you are saying is similar to the way I've been, havent wanted to hurt women's feelings. I have turned down love with loads of lovely women over the years, if they have showed a bit to much interest..and am still doing it now. Only have one night stands with women you know wont take it further, and they are often women that dont turn you on that much. Going out of my way not to have a relationship.

Thats the way its been for me anyway.

Is there any reason why you think you havent had a relationship yet?...I suspect you have had chances.

 

22.10.2008, 18:43 quote

jackburton83

jeggae wrote:
jackburton83 wrote:
jeggae wrote:
jackburton83 wrote:
No idea if this is best suited for advice or dating thread so sos in advance if this aint right thread.


Over the last few months ive been thinking about my lack of date or relationship experiences and have started to disect my technique and chat when talking to women on nights out.One of the things my friends point out to me is im too quick to down play a chance of a relationship but i only do that to make sure I aint leading a girl on.Do u reckon I am being too honest or is it best to go with that way of thinking.Im starting to think ive been a bit too soft for my own good.


jackburton83 wrote:
bexbex wrote:
So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?


i think the problem is i sleep wi a girl but to make sure i dont marry her about i kind of agree to just the one night so that she cant claim i told her id see her again just so she will sleep wi me.


Is there any kind of deeper problem why you do this?...Have you ever had a relationship?

Sounds a bit like me.


aint had one mate Embarassed


As I've said on here on numerous occasions, neither have I mate, although I've had loads of chances.

What you are saying is similar to the way I've been, havent wanted to hurt women's feelings. I have turned down love with loads of lovely women over the years, if they have showed a bit to much interest..and am still doing it now. Only have one night stands with women you know wont take it further, and they are often women that dont turn you on that much. Going out of my way not to have a relationship.

Thats the way its been for me anyway.

Is there any reason why you think you havent had a relationship yet?...I suspect you have had chances.


i have a hard time putting time aside for girls - i have my nightshifts then on my nights off i have my footie and like to catch up wi mates - suppose thats why - i always put my mates first

 

22.10.2008, 18:57 quote

jeggae

jackburton83 wrote:
jeggae wrote:
jackburton83 wrote:
jeggae wrote:
jackburton83 wrote:
No idea if this is best suited for advice or dating thread so sos in advance if this aint right thread.


Over the last few months ive been thinking about my lack of date or relationship experiences and have started to disect my technique and chat when talking to women on nights out.One of the things my friends point out to me is im too quick to down play a chance of a relationship but i only do that to make sure I aint leading a girl on.Do u reckon I am being too honest or is it best to go with that way of thinking.Im starting to think ive been a bit too soft for my own good.


jackburton83 wrote:
bexbex wrote:
So, are you saying you talk yourself out of a relationship before one has even started by trying to put the girl off?


i think the problem is i sleep wi a girl but to make sure i dont marry her about i kind of agree to just the one night so that she cant claim i told her id see her again just so she will sleep wi me.


Is there any kind of deeper problem why you do this?...Have you ever had a relationship?

Sounds a bit like me.


aint had one mate Embarassed


As I've said on here on numerous occasions, neither have I mate, although I've had loads of chances.

What you are saying is similar to the way I've been, havent wanted to hurt women's feelings. I have turned down love with loads of lovely women over the years, if they have showed a bit to much interest..and am still doing it now. Only have one night stands with women you know wont take it further, and they are often women that dont turn you on that much. Going out of my way not to have a relationship.

Thats the way its been for me anyway.

Is there any reason why you think you havent had a relationship yet?...I suspect you have had chances.


i have a hard time putting time aside for girls - i have my nightshifts then on my nights off i have my footie and like to catch up wi mates - suppose thats why - i always put my mates first


Unless deep down you are gay, there's nothing wrong with that.

Too be honest I dont know if its the way younger people carry on nowadays. When I was your age it probably was easier to get a relationship. But I wouldn't have any problems having one now if I wanted it, so I suspect you wouldnt. But I have one or two issues I have to sort out.

But if thats your only reason, then the advice I would give you is find the best looking women [or man ] you know or can get, and force yourself into a relationship for a long time. Even if you are afraid of getting blown out eventually. Splitting up is an important part of relationships. Especially nowadays where it seems to be part of life.
Believe me mate you have to have relationships, if you dont want problems down the line.

If you do have any issues, get them sorted asap.

 
 
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