Dear johnnyBoy..

wow..firstly, i would say i can see how all of this is playing on your mind and emotions by the length and time taken by your reponses, and how you genuinely seem to be trying all you can to help and consol her..
Now as an outsider and reading through all this, my impression and advice regarding this matter is this..
You are in a very difficult position, with respects to distance, her situation with her fella, her emotional situation and indeed yours..Now it seems to me that she is crying out to be heard, express herself and off-load herself emotionally and you are the person she feels she can do this with..which is good..But, to be of any help to her at all i think you need to do a couple of things..you see i think you are now playing a kind of therapist role if you like..not saying this is all..but for now this is what you are doing and what she is wanting, i believe..so to help her, and yourself, for now you need to put aside your emotions for her and any ideas of what might happen in the future..and also, any of the mood swings she may have with you now and again, put to one side..This will make you more stronger and more able to help her in the long run..Basically, if you get too emotionally involved then this is not going to help with anything you may be trying to achieve and in fact worsen the situation..
You need to see things clearly and for what they are..continue e-mailing, talking on phone whatever..but be her friend. Dont start saying anything about being together, moving visiting etc..this is putting more crap in her head to deal with, when its obvious that she hasnt got a clue what she is doing in her own world at the moment. her blokes still on the scene and living with her..
I believe once you take the role of friend,therapist, listener whatever then you will be able to see the whole picture clearer and be able to decide what you are doing and how to proceed..
she is crying out to be heard for whatever reason and you was there..but you have got too emotionally attached to it all..and this is one of the easiest things to fall into..but of no help to either of you in the long run..
to change things, you have to be the strong one and take a step back, put everything to one side and see the problem for what it is..At this time she will also be saying things that you may not want to hear or do want to hear, but listen only as a friend..

anyway, this is the longest bloody post i have ever written on here and its probably not even making sense now, but sod if i am reading this back through to check.. hope this helps...

doctor kev signing off..good luck

think i had too much coffee earlier..lmao