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28.11.2006, 19:21 quote

Anonymous

Annie,

You seem to be leaving a lot of pointed questions around...

All I would recomend is communication and trust (why would you marry some one you don't trust?). If that trust has been lost then communication to find some middle ground, cause trust isn't the easiest thing to find again.

W

 

28.11.2006, 21:35 quote

Anonymous

Anniew wrote:
Say a guy has been with an older woman/had relationship for several years
on/off he was say... 23 she 37 he was in it purely for the love!
she taught him all he knows.
for him she was the best love ever.

He gets married some years later... starts telling wife fantasies (about older women) what,how etc!!

wife gets jealous........!etc etc.
He tries to convince her its just fantasies/what turns him on
should she believe him coz its all in the past/ or do you think he still wants
older women for love....

coz the wife cant seem to turn him on for love without going into his fantasy!!


Are you trying to tell us all something Confused

 

29.11.2006, 10:21 quote

Anonymous

Isnt councellor ...spelt - councillor (now none of them look right) LOL...

 

29.11.2006, 10:25 quote

Anonymous

Well spotted Very Happy

 

29.11.2006, 11:25 quote

Anonymous

cheekyarse wrote:
Isnt councellor ...spelt - councillor (now none of them look right) LOL...


Wrong kind of counsellor Claudia

Councillor - one who works for the council
Counsellor - one who counsels another.

 

29.11.2006, 13:58 quote

Anonymous

Anniew wrote:
Say a guy has been with an older woman/had relationship for several years
on/off he was say... 23 she 37 he was in it purely for the love!
she taught him all he knows.
for him she was the best love ever.

He gets married some years later... starts telling wife fantasies (about older women) what,how etc!!

wife gets jealous........!etc etc.
He tries to convince her its just fantasies/what turns him on
should she believe him coz its all in the past/ or do you think he still wants
older women for love....

coz the wife cant seem to turn him on for love without going into his fantasy!!


If he can't ever have love without delving into a particular fantasy, then he perhaps has a slight problem.

I don't think it means he's not to be trusted regarding fidelity and I can understand the wifes upset, but he himself needs to look at why he can't perform without that particular fantasy and he also needs to ask his wifes help in working through it.

This will at least make his wife see that he does still love her and want to be with her and together they may be able start a few new fantasies that involves them both bringing them closer again.

 

29.11.2006, 15:25 quote

Anonymous

Anniew wrote:
can we get back to topic now



sorry boss

 

01.12.2006, 16:04 quote

Anonymous

Why is it an issue?

It happened in the past, so what is the point in tying to change it? What has happened has happened, he is with you (or whoever it maybe but i don't buy the councellor story)

It is times like this when people reading too much into things will create a rift, and that will keep on growing if the person keeps delving into it. What is in the past should stay in the past, and not be dwelled upon. If they are fantasies then big woop, everyone has them, it's nice to induldge them.

Sounds more like a trust issue on the womans behalf to me.

 

12.12.2006, 18:20 quote

Anonymous

Anniew wrote:
Say a guy has been with an older woman/had relationship for several years
on/off he was say... 23 she 37 he was in it purely for the love!
she taught him all he knows.
for him she was the best love ever.

He gets married some years later... starts telling wife fantasies (about older women) what,how etc!!

wife gets jealous........!etc etc.
He tries to convince her its just fantasies/what turns him on
should she believe him coz its all in the past/ or do you think he still wants
older women for love....

coz the wife cant seem to turn him on for love without going into his fantasy!!

i say it's all in the past, he married you after all (let's face it it IS you you're talking about). Everyone has a fantasy that never fails to get them off obviously that's his. Jealousy won't help it'll only tear you guys apart. REMEMBER THIS IS HIS PAST a part of what makes him the man you fell in love with

 
 
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