Say a guy has been with an older woman/had relationship for several years
on/off he was say... 23 she 37 he was in it purely for the sex!
she taught him all he knows.
for him she was the best SEX ever.

He gets married some years later... starts telling wife fantasies (about older women) what,how etc!!

wife gets jealous........!etc etc.
He tries to convince her its just fantasies/what turns him on
should she believe him coz its all in the past/ or do you think he still wants
older women for sex....

coz the wife cant seem to turn him on for sex without going into his fantasy!!

Annie,

You seem to be leaving a lot of pointed questions around...

All I would recomend is communication and trust (why would you marry some one you don't trust?). If that trust has been lost then communication to find some middle ground, cause trust isn't the easiest thing to find again.

W

I used to be a councellor!

Isnt councellor ...spelt - councillor (now none of them look right) LOL...

isnt spealt spelt splelt?
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its official got the call back today ladies you have three months or im becoming a monk

Well spotted

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its official got the call back today ladies you have three months or im becoming a monk

can we get back to topic now

ok annie back on track right for one thing fantasies are ok for another thing sharing and trying them out with a partner can be a high turn on but if the only way he can get turned on is by living out the fantasies ( and i am sorry this is only my opinion) he is missing something i believe if you are in a relationship you should be with that person not obsessing over the past my advice ask him to his face tell him your having worries
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its official got the call back today ladies you have three months or im becoming a monk

intuition tells me he is harbouring something.

something he been through in past with this woman

how to get him to talk about it?

he wont open up

same time feels it normal thing/nothing wrong woith his acting out.

no shame/inadequecy display at all

mabe sometimes

My guess is that he is hiding something, but it might not be as sinister as you are thinking, you do sound quite wound up so I guess you are close to boiling point on the whole issue though, so I guess this has been building up over a long time.

How long have you had thoughts in this way about this situation?
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Today I led you the the edge of Oblivion...

Tomorrow FORWARD!