I'm having a birthday party, but you're not invited, but you can come if you want.

Arnie from Whats Eating Gilbert Grape

Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

aww anchor man

From an episode of I'm Alan Partridge when Alan offended a farmer live on his Radio Norwich show...

"You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. You make pigs smoke. You feed beef burgers to swans. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Do you deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes".

From Bill Murray's character in Caddyshack...

"So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.� And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.� So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice."