I totally and completely agree, i can't understand people who would use their kids as pawns. Although i do think there are some instances in which some action has to be taken in the long run if the other partner is hurting your children then your in catch 22

You're not wrong in the way you feel about your children at all David. I think it's quite natural. It is difficult if they've been poisoned against you. It means that they're feelings towards you are not entirely down to them, but if I had the chance of meeting my real dad (he's dead now) to find out his side of the story, i'd do it!

You have to move on and live your life the way you feel fit. You cannot live for them.

David..i feel for u so deeply, wish i was there to give u a great big hug.
as for me..my ex is an extreme alcoholic and abuser, but i have never kept him from Josh..that will be his choice to make when he wants..i have always told josh his dad loves him no matter what..at times josh has chosen not to talk to his dad and david(my ex) was hurt and could not understand why..ignorance is bliss on his part..asshole...but i told josh when he felt it was time to talk to his dad then he picks that time and no one wuld force him to do otherwise....dont get me wrong my ex has always provided child support and other things..like now letting us live in his home due to unusual circumstances....AND NO THERE IS NO love..FOR ALL THAT IS CURIOUS..OMG YUCK....every person that has been divorced with children has gone thru hell because of the kids in one way or another and every circumstance is different....the kids are the ones that always get hurt the most.

Kids should never be used or there heads filled with hatread, My kids were use as pawns for the first two years of breakup but there love won trought. No matter what happens at the end of the day Your love for them will always win irraspective of what each party think of each othere, its immature and can have an adverse affect

as most of you know my ex had no interest in his kids for a year and a half. he didn't send xmas or bday presents. this year he posted xmas presents to them. POSTED lol. i texted him xmas night and asked if he wanted to ring and speak to his daughter. he rang they spoke for half an hour. i think he cried. but at the end of the day he is not as close to them as he would have been and he has nobody to blame but himself.

which reminds me.... we have to meet up for a drink some night eh!

I kept giving my ex second chances as he kept letting my daughter down and then saying sorry he wouldnt do it again then the next weekend he would the exact same thing, i never stopped him seeing her but he just didnt make the effort. In the end my daughter said she didnt want to see him anymore, it was upsetting her too much.

I know what you mean though tinker, the crazy thing is my ex has a daughter from before he met me .. who will now be about 17 and he's seen her once when she was a baby ... he then has gone on to have another two kids to two different females..... ''Pr*ck '' is actually a mild word to use for him ....

Thanks both of you

I do feel for you too Tracy .. must be awful .. but you live miles away from your boys, and see them at every possible opportunity you can .. my ex lives 10 minutes along the road