well it's that time of year again.... holiday season.... halloween, xmas, new year........ all rolled into one suicide inticing ball of despair lol.

being a single parent at christmas last year was terrible for me. i always had family around me and when i moved out of home i always had the kids dad. last year was my first year alone. i wasn't truly alone because the kids were here.....but still..... i was..... alone. i think i spent most of xmas eve and xmas night crying silently hoping i didn't wake the kids.

to top it off... last xmas i was stony broke... couldn't buy all my kids wanted... sure they got the majority of it...but i wanted to get them EVERYTHING lol...spoil them.... that was upsetting. i was getting no maintenance or anything. but this year..... ah...this year... will be different.

i am used to being on my own now...and plus... my daughter is that bit older too... and she stays up late and watches films with me at the wkends. this year... i have the money to spoil them. and spoil them i will. i have already bought them three presents each. i have divided the list between my family and was still left with three each that there was nobody left to buy for them lol.... so i'll buy them. afterall it's only money. and money is nothing compared to the looks on my kids faces this year when they wake up and see all the presents that santa has left for them.

and i will actually get MYSELF something this year too haha. last year i didn't so much as buy myself new clothes, too busy saving to get the presents. this year is different. i have my head firmly screwed on and i will make it a great xmas.

i'm worse than the kids right now... i can't wait for it to be xmas eve!!!

so.... to all you recently single parents...... it will get better. i promise. there's only one direction to go once you hit rock bottom, isn't there???


may all your dreams come true!

I'm not keen on christmas even tho the kids still go wild about it. It's not the being on my own that does it, I just resent it all. I'm not religious, so I don't celebrate it's modern meaning and I know no Pagaens round here to celebrate the older meaning.

Then there's the memories of my mum crying most christmas's 'cos of what she couldn't get us.

It's just me and the girls this year as the boys will be at their dads. We've already agreed that it's just one present each.

I want to take all the hype out of it and just have a quiet day watching tv with them. I'll even turn the computer off on that day if they don't argue and bicker

well i went out and bought all but the horses styling head. i will buy that the next time i'm down near that store. i really am looking forward to xmas... not because of any religious ideas... just because it's a family time.

there will be nine of us for dinner at my mother's this year.... hope she has enough knives and forks! haha

awww mandy and all that have been there..me too, but i didnt have all the family around during xmas when i ws growing up..hell dont even remember any xmas..and was in foster homes from 12-18,,any who..ive been lucky my ex has always made sure tht josh got what he wanted for xmas..mite not have been much but josh was happy and understanding

i think the first xmas you are truly alone trace is the hardest. that was last year for me. and it was hell. really was. but this year i am honestly looking forward to it.

faith.... you are not alone since you have josh.... and he's at an age now where the both of you can actually enjoy eachother's company lol.

hope everyone has a wonderful xmas.

true, i have always had josh, but i remember that first xmas in a foster home...no fun...and now i hve josh but would nice to have a man to just enjoy the day with....oh btw guess who's trying to come back into my life..pfft ya like that is gonna happen...lol