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Home >> Poetry & Literature >> Dave.......
29.02.2008, 18:55 quote
darkhorse57 wrote: | ||||||||
I usually reserve my ditties for my crushes (as mentioned in the crush thread this morning - "........afore-mentioned crush includes private naughty limericks, short poems - never more than a sonnets worth though - and public adoration on the forum......." but I am rather enamoured with your De Mille esque imagery and fine lips, and have foregone the ritual courtship period in the Crush thread and hope that my ungentlemanly (nay, uncouth) advances have not offended you, my sweet and gentle maid. |
Uncouth can sometimes be refreshing - incidentally why does no-one ever use couth as a positive? Nope this sweet and gentle maid isn't offended, but there is something you could do as penance should you so feel the need - plus it would get Megalone's thread back on course nicely
I really don't know if I have genuinely made up these first two lines of a limerick, or have lifted them from some book I read years ago, but here goes anyway - I need some help to continue and finish the limerick
There was a young lady from Chichester
Who made all the saints in their niches stir.
And that's all I have - inordinately proud of those two lines, even if I did nick them, but cannot get any further. All contributions most gratefully received
29.02.2008, 19:00 quote
Here ya go
There was a young lady from Chichester
Who made all the saints in their niches stir
She ripped off her bodice
Which was not very modest
And flung it upon the altar
(Sorry, was a bit awkward, and had to make the unsteady rhythm continue)
29.02.2008, 19:09 quote
darkhorse57 wrote: |
Here ya go
There was a young lady from Chichester Who made all the saints in their niches stir She ripped off her bodice Which was not very modest And flung it upon the altar (Sorry, was a bit awkward, and had to make the unsteady rhythm continue) |
I loved it till the last line - but just what is there that will rhyme with Chichester/niches stir??
I agree it is an unsteady rhythm, stress has to be on niches. But at least it's got a bit further than where it was before
8/10 Darkhorse!
29.02.2008, 19:23 quote
Yeh, the last line is always a let down if its done in a rush. I was just going to do the next 2 lines and leave you to come up with a closer.
There was a young lady from Chichester
Who made all the saints in their niches stir
She ripped off her bodice
Which was not very modest
And danced naked like Guinevere
As they say in the TV recycling ads......The possibilites are endless......
29.02.2008, 20:41 quote
All my threads are ripe for hijacking, help yourself
But here's another one........
There was a young man from Kent,
Whose brain was so long it was bent,
To save himself trouble,
He'd put it in double,
So instead of just coming he went.
08.03.2008, 01:10 quote
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue
I nicked that from Ogden Nash - and it's not really a limerick, so why have I posted it? Cos I like it, that's why!
29.03.2008, 00:54 quote
Someone sent me this t'other day -
Young Tommy loved wearing things frilly
And thought his appendage looked silly
So he changed his whole life
With a very sharp knife
And now he's not Tommy, but Tilly.
They also sent me this one -
And old Inuit hooker named Belle
Hit her head on the ice when she fell
On her funeral day
The church bell had to play
To the rhythm of 'Eskimo Nell'
They told me to look up The Ballad of Eskimo Nell - apparently I'm a complete innocent because I'd never heard of it before. It's very rude - which will of course send everyone googling it if they don't already know it - but what made me smile was the disclaimer on one website apologising for its 'very basic male chauvinistic overtones'!
So, it's very rude and misogynistic - but it's dead funny too!
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