Here ya go


There was a young lady from Chichester
Who made all the saints in their niches stir
She ripped off her bodice
Which was not very modest
And flung it upon the altar


(Sorry, was a bit awkward, and had to make the unsteady rhythm continue)

Yeh, the last line is always a let down if its done in a rush. I was just going to do the next 2 lines and leave you to come up with a closer.

There was a young lady from Chichester
Who made all the saints in their niches stir
She ripped off her bodice
Which was not very modest
And danced naked like Guinevere

As they say in the TV recycling ads......The possibilites are endless......

All my threads are ripe for hijacking, help yourself

But here's another one........

There was a young man from Kent,
Whose cock was so long it was bent,
To save himself trouble,
He'd put it in double,
So instead of just coming he went.

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue

I nicked that from Ogden Nash - and it's not really a limerick, so why have I posted it? Cos I like it, that's why!

I like it too

_________________

Someone sent me this t'other day -

Young Tommy loved wearing things frilly
And thought his appendage looked silly
So he changed his whole life
With a very sharp knife
And now he's not Tommy, but Tilly.

They also sent me this one -

And old Inuit hooker named Belle
Hit her head on the ice when she fell
On her funeral day
The church bell had to play
To the rhythm of 'Eskimo Nell'

They told me to look up The Ballad of Eskimo Nell - apparently I'm a complete innocent because I'd never heard of it before. It's very rude - which will of course send everyone googling it if they don't already know it - but what made me smile was the disclaimer on one website apologising for its 'very basic male chauvinistic overtones'!
So, it's very rude and misogynistic - but it's dead funny too!