An old thread I know, but only just found it.........
This amazed me: "Do women here think it is acceptable for a 49 yo male to contact a 36 – 38 woman without assuming the bloke is a perv – or even just ‘too old’?"

I'd say thats all in the same age bracket anyway?

I'm nearly 42 now.

When I was 16 I lived with a man of 42.
Then when I was 20 I met my future (now ex) husband who was 43.
Then I met a guy 10yrs old than me, and finally my last boyfriend was 3 yrs younger than me.

On flirtbox I tend to only check out the profiles of men 45 - 65.

I am finding now that I've gone past 40 that as far as men are concerned there is no such thing as "too old" - well 70 might be pushing it a bit perhaps?! - but anyone under 30 pm-ing me I'm afraid I simply delete cuz that;s just daft. (IMO).

I think this unconcious thought is propelled by the fact that my eldest son is nearly 20 and most of his friends are around the 30 mark, and it would seem really really weird for me to date a man who could be one of his mates?
But then my best friend is 66 and her fella is 42, so age dont seem to matter as long as two people love each other.

I am surprised and elated to read the comments on 50s,do they also apply to 61 year olds,I am referring to my birth certificate as there is no way on earth I feel this age,I feel the same as I did when I was thirteen,honestly.I never give a moments thought to my age,until I look in the mirror and think who the f.... that.I'm up for anything,I would swim in shark infested beaches or wade through crocodile laden rivers with a bleeding pig on my back.You can believe that if you like.So if there's anyone out there curious get in touch bill3000.

I assumed the guy didn't mean 13 literally - unless of course he was a *very* mature 13 yrs old, or is still playing with his action men now!
I thought it was just a figure of speech.
And I doubt if he'd be all that keen on dating a woman *alot* older than him these days, but who knows...
I think the only time age matters is when other people want to make it matter - for instance, when I was pregnant with our second son we had all the 'health issues' bombarded from the doctors - eg downs syndrome cuz my husband was 49. If he had been my age, no one would have mentioned it.
But as to a relationship, well personally I lean toward men my own era simply cuz they've got a bit of life experience and more maturity (generally speaking....) than younger men. No disrespect to younger men (or women) here, just that if you're 25 you've not exactly been around the block much, you know? They simply don't have alot of life experience to draw on.

Yeah I know I'm being as clear as mud arent I? sorry

What I mean is this: When two people of vastly different ages are together, the age thing doesn't matter to them, does it? If it did, they wouldn't be together in the first place.
Even when I was younger I never went out with a man my own age, so I wouldn't know from personal experience, you know?

Personally, now I'm older I wouldn't want to hitch up with a very much younger man. But then I've never tried, so I'm not dismissing the concept out of hand altogether.

The age thing only ever seems to 'matter' to people outside of the situation, or like me have a particular preference for a specific reason.

Mud's prolly still a bit murky I know, but hope I've made a teeny bit more sense now.....

Ye'r cool, RG! I was just pointing something out!

Rock on!

Better yet... Boomfunk, yea?
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This is one subject where I have read and encountered a certain amount of hypocrisy.

When threads on this subject start people tend to start by saying age doesn’t matter, but from what I can see it clearly does to most people, and there can be a certain amount of looking down noses at people and comments made.

On a similar thread to this on another site, a women in her 30's admitted she had an affair with a man in his 60's when she was 17. She said she had no problem with it and didn’t regret a thing, she then got ripped apart by people looking down their noses at her who had previously said age didn’t matter. Apparently it was wrong what she did.

I know age does affect the way I am seen on these sites, especially since I turned 50, as a result I now rarely post on the two sites I go on. I have had people looking down the nose at me and others make comments about my age. Which is a bit odd because I rarely ‘come on’ to regular women off of the forums, and not many on the forums, and probably only agreed to meet one person off here since I've been on the board as friends, which didn’t happen.

Seems to me age does matter to most people, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as its admitted to.

It probably matters more on Internet message boards/forums and dating sites, then it does in real life as far as attraction goes. Because profiles and pictures do dictate how you think of people, and you might probably discard someone that you might see differently in real life.

Seems to me age does matter.

Jeggae - when people look down their noses at you and make rude comments - treat 'em with the contempt they deserve and completely ignore them.
Age does 'matter' to me I suppose insofar as I've never actively hunkered after a man alot younger than myself (for the reasons already given) but I'm not saying "its wrong" and I certainly wouldn't see fit to pass judgment on those that do.
As far as the other way round goes - older man, younger woman - my answer is the same.
Whose business is it?
I recall years ago someone once made a snide comment about my hubby being so much older than me (5 yrs younger than my mum) and my response was "Why does it bother you?" and they shuffled their feet and apologised, without answering.
Just because it doesn't fit someone else's little pigeon hole - so what?
So Jeggae, no matter who it is, if you meet/see a lady twice your age or half your age - Go for it, if she's willing then stuff what other people think!!!!

I agree with you RG and it doesn’t really bother me, if I meet a women I'm attracted to I will have any kind of relationship I/we want, and it wont bother me. I'm just referring to people who say it doesn’t matter, but then it probably does in reality.

I got some stick on another site because I said I'm attracted to a women I know who's in her late 60's, just a sexual thing. But before that most of them had started age doesn’t matter.

What’s surprised me since being on the net, are the amount of women under 25 that are attracted to men that are 30's/40's/50's. But a women of 20 couldn’t really say that on these type-sites because she will have a few problems. I have indeed seen it happen. The attitude seems to be, older men who like young women are perverts and young women that like much older men are weird. Same with older women younger men.
Maybe why darkhorse started this thread?? not sure.

I am attracted to women of all ages, and would not rule anyone out because of age, and think its great if two people find happiness no matter how old or the age difference.

The only thing that comes to mind - which is about others business and not necessarily me - is this. If you are going to go out with someone whose age is vastly different from your own - be it older man or older woman - IF the 'relationship' blossoms thus, both parties need to seriously consider how the age difference is going to affect them, if at all, in the long term.
I've known couples where the wife was 60 and hubby was 88 - I'm not saying she didnt' love him anymore, but he had become so frail and in need of care that eventually he went into an old folks' home and she eventually met a man her own age. Very sad.
Another couple I've known he was in his late 30's and she was in her late 60's (been together since he was about 20) and they too eventually went their seperate ways cuz he couldn't handle her aging mind/body I guess (complained to me and others she had become like his old granny....)
What I'm saying is that unless both parties are honest with themselves as well as each other and understand the practicalities that may or may not arise in the long term, any large age gap is going to 'matter' whether you agree or not, one way or tuther.

Not sure when those cases were RG, but they probably werent before the 1980's when there was a stigma with breaking up and getting divorced. People rarely stay together nowadays and break up for all sorts of reasons, But you're right these things have to be spoken about like all things regarding relationships, hindsight is a wonderful thing though.

To be honest the first case doesnt seem to bad, younger people can break up for a lot less then that.

Age difference would probably matter to the people concerned, but we're talking about other peoples attitudes to it. The two people would have to think about it, but at the end of the day you can only go after who you are attracted to.

Well i have never dated anyone that wasn't around my age, not on purpose i might add. Not sure i would date anyone too much younger or older than myself, i'm 37 and would probably not go any lower than 30 or older than 40 ish maybe, but then never say never .......... x

the one thing i cant understand from people, is that when anne nicole smith married that billionaire, they didnt complain much, only a slight murmur, then when an ordinary person marries a 16yo, they are up in arms, they want to decapitate that persons head

...reesposted for the benefit of this thread, a reminded true story


He was 23, she was 43
He wasn't caucasian, she was,
He went to the local comprehensive though not to University, she gained a 1st masters in French Literature,
He was brought up in London suburb, she came from a 'posh'upgringing in Torquay in it's heydey,
He was 6ft foot, she was barely more than 5,
She was thin & called him, affectionalty, Buddha,
They spent over 4 years together....