I think you need to commit to some kind of counselling or therapy. Not because I think you are mad or anything but just because you have a lot of stuff going on that seems to be dragging you down. I mean, things like always thinking of reasons why somebody would not go out with you or like you. We all do it to a certain extent but if you feel that these kinds of thoughts are invasive and stopping you from enjoying life then you need to address it really.

That is all I will say about that on here as I am sure everybody has their own experiences, some perhaps more than others. But I think you really need to talk it out and share it with someone who is willing to try and understand you and what the roots of your negative emotions could be because you dont sound very at peace with inner self.

I posted way more than I intended to, again.