What does a `woman want from that first message a guy sends her. U know, hes checked out her profile, likes how she looks and what her profile says about her etc. Then he has to send her that message to somehow put this point forward without coming across as a twat or boring,pervy,sleazy,needy or any of the other things that will earn him a 'fuck off'or just a cold shoulder. I'v recieved a fuck off myself and it wasnt very nice granted it was after telling her i was a legless body builder.....which at the time i thought shed find pretty funny, due to her profile saying she was looking for a strong man who wouldnt run away from commitment.....well she definately didnt like it,maybe she just didnt get it....anyway whats the best way to break the ice?????

I agree with the above, but don't try to appear different from who you really are. If someone doesn't get your jokes then maybe it's a sign of incompatibility. There isn't a comedian on the planet who make EVERYONE laugh. The same with anything else - hobbies, aspirations etc etc. Also bear in mind that blokes often get something like only 10% of their messages replied to, for various reasons.

Good luck!

I would have found your message funny, and any signs that somebody had read at least some of your profile is always a good start.
The opening messages that I'm not so keen on are ones that just say "Hi, how are you?" I do politely answer, but when I get to check out their profile it may have very little mentioned about themselves, but often it may say "If ya wanna know just ask" or something to the effect that if they wrote more there wouldn't be much to talk about!!!!
I have filled in quite a lot of detail on my profile BUT it's just the 'tip of the iceberg! so there will always be more than what is on a profile and if people are serious, then they're more likely to fill it in and have up to date pics.
Other people may think brief is best! We're all different.

Slightly on topic, I keep having to resist the temptation to reference Radiohead's "Creep" in my profile or similar places.

The idea does appeal to a part of my humour for the sheer perverse absurdity, but it's clearly a terrible idea


More on topic, I've sent a few messages, not on this site but on others I'd tried before... I think I've sent to maybe 6 different people so far, give or take, no responses so far :p I agree that it's hard to write something like that well, not sure if I've been doing OK with it so far, but most people I contacted checked my profile at least, except the people who hadn't logged on anyway. They don't count though

a fat penguin

badgadjit wrote:

...anyway whats the best way to break the ice?????

That reminds me: for a while I put 'polarstern' in the subject line of first messages. No one ever got it

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Polarstern.gif

similar to the 'how much does a polarbear weigh?'

(dunno but it broke the ice)

Lot's of people arn't about to read the mail. Your outbox will tell you whether it's unread. Unless you've opened the mail yourself in the Outbox to re-read. (I'm pretty sure that's how it works)

So there's always the chance if you re-read you can't tell whether the recipient has actualy read the mail.

As regards the humour, stick with it - you should also assume the position of vetting even though you're making the approach. If somebody doesn't appreciate your effort to approach or humour just move on.

Also if peeps live far away there's often the chance they dont respond due to distance - or the shear wieght of e-mail, ie; in London where most peeps are- and where the male/female ratio and popularity is more bias towards 'attractive' women.
_________________
"The tighter you grasp Lord Vader, the more it will slip through your fingers."

That tricky first message..... Hmmmm well it doesn't matter how attractive a guy may be, this one I got this evening is NOT going to tempt me to want to get to know him.

hey. u got msn n webcam? do u like anal sex?

Hi

Couple of articles i've written on my blog, based on my experiences of internet dating. Rather appropriate to this thread:

http://www.londondatingscene.co.uk/2009/03/londonstunts-create-date-ing-profile.html

And

http://www.londondatingscene.co.uk/2009/03/londonstunts-first-date-guide.html

Im pleased i found this thread!!! For me there's no certain type of message that i want 2 receive, i just know it if i see it! But what i don't like is the "hi how r u u?" "msn?" "ur fit" seriously why would u write that? what is there 2 write back? nothing. and i have put on my profile that i don't want them type of messages so if i receive 1 of them i know they haven't read it and am simply messaging me because of my pic... so i will not reply! I want 2 know some1 has read my profile so a comment about it goes a long way. Sense of humor is always a must so a joke or something that will make me smile is good. I also don't like the message that ask nothing about me but is just a 3 paragraph rambling of their life, Ive deleted the message before Ive read it all! I think men need 2 realize that women get a lot of mail so their message needs 2 stand out and make us intrigued! Also i will not reply 2 a person with no pic, i want 2 know who im talking 2 also this may sound shallow but if the person isn't 2 my taste then im not going not going 2 be interested in talking with them!Age is a big thing a as well so if they r loads older than me, then im not interested! All this is from what i have received in my 5 days on here!! But u need 2 realize that everyone is looking 4 something different so u should treat all messages different but keep it real! I don't think this helps much its just me having a ramble about what Ive discovered so far!