id just like to know if anybody has any idea on why guys only want to use me for one thing...? is it a vibe girls let off? or is it because i have a rubbish personality??

I guess it's partly luck and partly intuition. I think most people feel used at some point in their life. You just have to learn from it and make sure you know where the giving ends and the using starts.

im always used though!? i give up lol.

i mean sexually...and in real life...il get on with someone n then bam they suddenly dont want a relationship but they still like me apparantly lol...n im not that sort of girl.

It keeps happening because you keep allowing it to happen.

There is a saying, "You get the behavior that you tolerate". Good, bad or indifferent.
We all do it all the time. It's how relationships work.
If the behavior you are getting is not tolerable to you eg you feel used. Stop letting it happen!!
Identify it, and nip it in the bud.
If that person sulks cuz you wont let them treat you in a way you wont allow them to treat you, thus ends the relationship....one of you will walk the other way fast....or you will give in and accept said behavior, or they will start treating you in a way more acceptable to you.
The key here I feel is find out for yourself what triggers this unwanted behavior?
If you jump into bed too quickly and too eagerly, will he just want you for sex?
If you flash your wallet full of £50 notes and are mega generous from day one, will he just want your money?
And so on.....

yeah thats sorta true i guess...thanks!

i always get used, emotionally, sexually and so on

i have been told it is because i am kind and loving and good natured ...

but why should i not be that why if that is who i am, why should i change ... i just hope one day i find someone who appreciates me

sigh
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FoxyHan - Proof that it's not all grim up north

That's all well and good to have such lovely characteristics Hannah - but you are doomed to being a doormat the rest of your life if you dont balance the nicey stuff with something a bit harder - like being canny enough to know when someone's even just THINKING about taking advantage of your niceness....Kind and loving and good natured is not a positive thing if its not balanced with "knows own boundaries".
If you dont know where your own boundaries lie, you cant really blame others for overstepping them, can you? How are they meant to know when they are treading in "you're using me" territory if you dont recognise it yourself until something happens that pisses you off/hurts your feelings?
Let's face it, we ALL allow ourselves to be used if it does us no harm, doesnt hurt our feelings, doesnt interfere with your day-to-day dealings in life. Its only when that act of being used works negatively for us that we get pissed off about it.

You will be waiting til Nelson gets his eye back before you find someone who knows your boundaries when you dont know them yourself.....

Sorry if thats harsh, but its the truth as I see it.

Yer insights are great, RG.
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www.lizmadsen.com

Just makes sense to me. Prolly to no one else though!

Didnt we have a thread somewhere or was it 4 threads all by men saying the same thing, moaning that they are lovely kind nice easy going guys but all the girls use them and dump them when someone more exciting ("the BAD BOY") comes along.
The general consensus then was that they get treated that way because they - at least in their posts here - portray themselves as whimps, doormats.

Women are no different....

That's pretty much what I was trying to say, but better.