What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

Oh dear! I wonder what that makes me....'obey' is one of the worst words ever

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

Well, you'll never catch me saying anything like that

They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Being a lady of a certain age, I don't have to worry about that one.

Yes, thin ice indeed and bound to attract some backlash...... but funny all the same

Mummy mummy!! Daddy's bleeding and keeps falling over.
Shut up child and reload my shotgun.

Why did God invent men?
Because vibrators cant mow the lawn.

What does it mean when a man moans and whispers your name?
You haven't used enough pressure on the pillow over his face.

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.



What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.


Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can understand them.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

two men are given the job of measuring the height of a flag pole, they set up the tape measure against the pole but its to high, "now we're buggered" says one to another, a passing blonde woman sees what is happening and heads over to help out, she takes a spanner from her hand bag takes down the pole, lays it on the ground and measures it, "23ft 8inches" she says, then walks off. "typical blonde" says one man to the other "she's measured the length, we needed the height!"

I like these two,

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.


What does it mean when a man moans and whispers your name?
You haven't used enough pressure on the pillow over his face.

Here is another one...

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?
Half a dog.