(If this has been said before then I apologise, I have checked a fair bit down the list and if I've missed it then I'll have no problem with it being locked)

Wife moaning to her Husband. "You never take me anywhere expensive anymore do you".
"Okay" he replies, "Then get your coat on"
"Where you taking me?"
"To the fucking petrol station"

Well, I had a chuckle.