1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you'veboth shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous love on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had love with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. Youtell her that it is:
a) impossible - she looks too gorgeous!b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron

8. Foreplay is to love as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying atthe end of a relationship?
a) 'I hope we can still be friends.'
b) 'I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.'
c) 'Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

Score 1 point for every answer 'a'
Score 2 points for every answer 'b'
Score 3 points for every answer 'c'

Your Score
10 points: You are a saint, a liar, or a eunuch.
11-20 points: You are an average joe. Good luck in the battle of the sexes.
21-30 points: You are a real man's man. Your fear of intimacy with womenand your love of men's sports screams latent homosexuality. You need a niceshe-male dominatrix to teach you respect.
31-40 You can't add.

Hmm, I guess I'm either a saint or a liar (cos I ain't no whatsit). Since I can't decide which I am for myself, I shall invite any previous lovers to join the forum and make their views known.

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