In d bginin God cr8d d heaven nd d erth. nd d erth was without form, nd void; nd darkness was upon d face of d deep. nd d Spirit of God moved upon d face of d waters.
Nd God sed, Let der b lite: nd der was lite.
Nd God saw d lite, that it was gud: nd God divided d lite from d darknes.
Nd God called d lite Day, nd d darkness he called Nite. nd d evenin nd d mornin were d 1st day.

Nd God sed, Let der b a firmament in d midst of d waters, nd let it divide d waters from d waters.
Nd God made d firmament, nd divided d waters which were unda d firmament from d waters which were above d firmament: nd it was so.
Nd God called d firmament Heaven. nd d evenin nd d mornin were d 2nd day.

Nd God sed, Let d waters unda d heaven b gathered 2gethr unto 1 place, nd let d dry land appear: nd it was so.
Nd God called d dry land Erth; nd d gathrin 2gethr of d waters called he C’s: nd God saw that it was gud.
Nd God sed, Let d erth bring 4th grass, d herb yieldin seed, nd d fruit tree yieldin fruit afta his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon d erth: nd it was so.
Nd d erth brought 4th grass, nd herb yieldin seed afta his kind, nd d tree yieldin fruit, whose seed was in itself, afta his kind: nd God saw that it was gud.
Nd d evenin nd d mornin were d 3rd day.

Nd God sed, Let der b lites in d firmament of d heaven to divide d day from d nite; nd let them b 4 signs, nd 4 seasons, nd 4 days, nd years:
Nd let them b 4 lites in d firmament of d heaven to give lite upon d erth: nd it was so.
Nd God made 2 gr8 lites; d gr8er lite to rule d day, nd d lessa lite to rule d nite: he made d stars also.
Nd God set them in d firmament of d heaven to give lite upon d erth,
Nd to rule ova d day nd ova d nite, nd to divide d lite from d darkness: nd God saw that it was gud.
Nd d evenin nd d mornin were d 4th day.

Nd God sed, Let d waters bring 4th abundantly d movin creature that hath life, nd fowl that may fly above d erth in d open firmament of heaven.
Nd God cr8d gr8 wales, nd evry livin creature that moveth, which d waters brought 4th abundantly, afta their kind, nd evry winged fowl afta his kind: nd God saw that it was gud.
Nd God blessed them, sayin, b fruitful, nd multiply, nd fill d waters in d c’s, nd let fowl multiply in d erth.
Nd d evenin nd d mornin were d 5th day.

Nd God sed, Let d erth bring 4th d livin creature afta his kind, cattle, nd creepin thing, nd beast of d erth afta his kind: nd it was so.
Nd God made d beast of d erth afta his kind, nd cattle afta their kind, nd evry thing that creepeth upon d erth afta his kind: nd God saw that it was gud.
Nd God sed, Let us make man in our image, afta our likeness: nd let them have dominion ova d fish of d c, nd ova d fowl of d air, nd ova d cattle, nd ova all d erth, nd ova evry creepin thing that creepeth upon d erth.
So God cr8d man in his own image, in d image of God cr8d he him; male nd female cr8d he them.
Nd God blessed them, nd God sed unto them, b fruitful, nd multiply, nd replenish d erth, nd subdue it: nd have dominion ova d fish of d c, nd ova d fowl of d air, nd ova evry livin thing that moveth upon d erth.
Nd God sed, Behold, I have given you evry herb bearin seed, which is upon d face of all d erth, nd evry tree, in d which is d fruit of a tree yieldin seed; to you it shall b 4 meat.
Nd to evry beast of d erth, nd to evry fowl of d air, nd to evry thin that creepeth upon d erth, wherein der is life, I have given evry green herb 4 meat: nd it was so.
Nd God saw evry thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very gud. nd d evenin nd d mornin were d 6th day.

Thus d heavens nd d erth were finished, nd all d host of them.
Nd on d 7th day God ended his work which he had made; nd he rested on d 7th day from all his work which he had made.
Nd God blessed d 7th day, nd sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God cr8d nd made.

I wasnt sure where to put this, but you should soon understand why txt writing is bad - try to read it!

if you did not copy and paste that you really need to get out more!!!!!!!

errrmmmm, well, it is dark outside, so can I have an excuse for sitting in all night?

No!!!

I am awarding you the Flirtbox 'need to get out more' award for this evening!

lol




I forgot to add smiley faces! how gutted am I going to be in the morning when I realised what a waste of time that was tonight

haha i was trying to read it and getting very annoyed.. and skipped to the bottom and hoped that there was a point or joke there...

some poor f*cker had to sit there and write all that out

The punch line comes much further in the book, but if you want that then you can write the thing out!!

tried 2 read it, but 2 be honest couldnt get past the first few lines lol, u wernt drinking when u wrote by ne chance lol

managed one line!

There's a whole book like that? Jeez!

Mind you -

"So am bein led thru thi babil plants by a slof calld Gaston whot has a kinda mutant lisp & takes such pride in his appeerinse heez got fungus growin on his bak: thats whot thi green streeks r. He ofird 2 let me ride on his bak hangin on2 his fur but I declynde.

We clime thru thi babil, goan doun & roun thi towr.

Hoo sent u then? I ask.

...Shame peepil shent thi jericule lasht nite, Gaston sez, tokin ovir hiz sholder.

Whot, that big bat?

...Thatsh rite.

Whot happind 2 him nway, do u no?

...Hir, Gaston sez. No.

O.

I follow Gaston doun thru thi babil branchiz. Followin Gaston iznt difficult on account ov him bein a qwite remarkibly slo moovir. If he had bin cumin 2 atak me I cude probly 1/2 juss gon doun thi branch ho woz on & climed rite ovir him b4 he cude 1/2 startid 2 react."

Iain M Banks sometimes makes you work hard to get thru some if his books! This is from Feersum Endjinn
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www.laradiodelamer.com/

And I thought I needed to get out more.