Scot I think it's a bit harsh to call this date an out and out liar; if she's a size 18/20 then she's probably had a LOT of shit from guys about this and was feeling insecure, wanting to maximize her chances etc. She obviously liked you enough that she hoped you'd like her enough to not be bothered. (If that makes sense!).

I know though she hasn't done herself any favours, now probably feels shit cos she's guessed you were put off, in person, by her size.

Don't ever underestimate however how crap blokes can make us feel about physical stuff, the aftershock from a single comment can last years for some women, they get seriously psychologically screwed up by it.

Hey Mewler,

Thanks for the comments.

I completely understand where you're coming from. In fact. nothing annoys me more than a man being insensitive about a woman's feelings (about her self-image or anything else), or indeed, anyone being insensitive about anyone else's feelings.

Rest assured, the woman I'm talking about had no idea whatsoever why I chose not to see her again. As I already mentioned several times in this thread, I was more put off by what I took to be dishonesty than her body shape. I'm no Californian-style body fascist; it takes all shapes and sizes to make the world go round. But I *do* hate dishonesty.

And you may also rest assured that I would never knowingly show disrespect or insensitivity to a woman's self-image. If anything, I have a bit of a track record of making women feel good about themselves (by being honest about their strong points, such as, for example, you having a beautiful face).

On the evening in question, there was lots of smiling and joking and we enjoyed a very pleasant couple of hours. As an indication that she was feeling positive about the whole thing, she actually tried to kiss me as I left, so I don't think she got any hint that I'd felt deceived or disappointed.

We all have our tender spots. I don't like mine being prodded, and I try not to prod those of other people.

I'm an 18 and as far as I am concerned, I am normal and average.




And bollocks to anyone who thinks Im a fatty monster.

I'm lovin' your attitude, GG!

Give it some!

Sorry I would reply to you, but Im not skinny enough

Heh! Like I said, lovin' the attitude!

Hope I've made it clear that I'm not body-shapist; I'm just dishonesty-ist!

Quite a few women have taken my initial message to mean I have a problem with this or that body type, but as I've demonstrated several times, that's never been the issue at any point.

This is a v interesting debate!

Yeah agreed ScotinC has shown full on respect to this woman. I do think though that as far as 'dishonesty' goes, in this context, there's a difference between cynical dishonesty and just, kind of, not telling the exact truth, with the intention of saving yourself emotional hurt (and the added intention of hopefully making something lovely with someone) (a baby, for example!). Scot's date didn't lie cynically at least I very much doubt she did.

Anyway it sounds like this woman had a lovely time so it's all good

(Intrigued however by how she "tried to kiss" you...did you dodge it at the last second and run for the bus?!)

I appreciate the comments, Mewler.

I always try to show respect to people, men and women, unless they give me a very good reason not to.

She tried to kiss me when it was time for me to leave. We went to give each other a hug, she angled in for a kiss, and I slid my cheek by, so we were ear to ear instead of lips to lips.

I'm sure you know how these things work!