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15.08.2006, 20:49 quote

ScotsDave
ScotsDave Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 1073 Location: United Kingdom, England, Greater Manchester
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redoctober wrote:


I live with the prejudice shown by folk for 'giving up' my boys and the hurt of trying to get the girls to see that their dad loves them very much but his own circumstances make it difficult to be there for them as much as he'd like. I do my best to for all of them tho' not always easy.



I'm sure you do you best for all of them.............I only had one a boy to bring up on my own and that was hard enough but speaking from experiance it is worth all the trouble to see then growing and standing on their own feet! once again good for you............. Smile


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17.08.2006, 05:27 quote

ladytracexx
ladytracexx Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 3465 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cornwall
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redoctober wrote:
I've been married twice and have 2 children from each ex (ie i have 4!) I'm in a rather odd situation in that i know what it's like both sides of the coin. My 2 youngest live with their dad and I have the 2 eldest. We did all kind of get along, even if it was for the sake of the kids, but my 1st ex remarried sometime ago and the woman is poison. Thanks to her, the eldest 2 haven't seen their dad for over a year now and only get a five minute call most (bit not every) week.

I live with the prejudice shown by folk for 'giving up' my boys and the hurt of trying to get the girls to see that their dad loves them very much but his own circumstances make it difficult to be there for them as much as he'd like. I do my best to for all of them tho' not always easy.


Why people have prejudices these days of whom and which parent has the children is beyond me? I have many friends who's family's are split in two. What i think is by far worse is the presumtions of people who just do not know the circumstances and they for are to quick to judge. I am sure you do your very best and i would not let these small minded people get to you. You are obviously a fantastic caring mother and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Smile
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21.08.2006, 05:55 quote

Anonymous

Its all for the women, its the way the whple system is set up, Been there done that, still won but did`nt feed the solictors pocket, My kids know how much i love them and No mattere how much she tried to use them as pawns, it never worked. Ireland is a joke when it comes to family Law, Its like bringing lambs to the slaughter, I was One Of the lucky ones

 

21.08.2006, 10:43 quote

Anonymous

you all say that the men have no rights but sometimes the men have no right to have rights.

take my ex. we split up in march of 05. he didn't see his kids for two months. after that he took them three times. once every two weeks. the last time he was supposed to take them he stood them up. i had to pick their little hearts up off the floor. he didn't even give a reason for this. i used to text him and ask when he was going to see the kids. but after that i stopped texting and said to myself well if he wants to see them he will get in contact. he didn't. he waited until june of this year. a whole year after he saw them last to ask to see them again. in the space of that year my kids' hearts mended and they forgot about him. was i about to let him into their lives just so he could hurt them again? no. i have every right to deny him access and i will... right up until the day he brings me to court. i did tell him a while back that he could see them for an hour in their own home and reintroduce himself. he wasn't happy with that. he wanted to take them for the weekend!! he's a stranger to, if not my eldest then certainly my youngest who was only just gone two when he upped and forgot about them. no xmas presents, no birthday presents, no phone calls. and at times like this i love the fkd up irish family law. i will get him into court and i will make a laughing stock of him. and he deserves every sly grin, every teeny snigger that comes his way. his loss. he should have remembered he had kids while he was forming his romance with his new wife. kids were not even invited to his wedding. scuse me while i just say...... ASSHOLE!

so, sometimes yes men do deserve the treatment they get off their exes and the courts.

 

27.08.2006, 14:14 quote

Kommy
Joined: 25 Aug 2006 Posts: 2 Location: Australia, Western Australia, Swan View
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as for rights, i was in a fairly happy relationship of 7 years. We have 2 kids, my daughter whao is now 4 and my son who will be 3 in Sept.
18 months ago, my ex's mother moved to QLD, my ex asked me if we could move there too. I said no as they didnt get along anyhow and I wasnt prepared to pack my kids up and risk the stable life we made every time her mother moves.
2 weeks later, she boards the kids on a plane to QLD. Do you think I could get any information as to their trip? Nope, not even if they were on a flight.
Long story short, she broke the law by removing my kids from WA without my permission, it took 3 months of court to get them back and guess what? No punishment for her what so ever. They now live an hours drive away and because she doesnt have a car, I have to do the fortnightly trip to pick up my kids. Due to the distance I cant afford to go there more often to see them, so I get 2 nights out of 14 with them. Is the petrol considered in my child support? Hell no. I have very minimal rights as a father, I bend over backwards to do whats right, but if im late on child support due to bills or what ever, she is straight on the phone with them, then they harass and threaten me.
I agree that some fathers dont deserve their kids, but what about those like myself that would do anything for them? These laws need a make over, and fast.

 

13.10.2006, 08:24 quote

wrexcab
wrexcab Joined: 06 Apr 2005 Posts: 28 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
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Any dad who's been through a divorce knows the law is totally bias for the mother, my ex was a right bitch and tried all the nastyness just i think to hide the fact she wanted me out to move her cuckoo in. the way the law is i couldnt do zip so i just divorced her, moved out and tried to be the best dad i could given the circumstances. it was real hard and i dont know how i got through it, but it all paid off in the end, 2 years later my son aged 11 came and lived with me(hes 20 now) as he couldnt get on with my ex and i have a fantastic relationship with my daughter ( 18 ) kids are not pawns but unfortunatly some parents think they are. my advice to any parent on the recieving end is, dont retaliate or rise to it just try to do your best, kids are clever they soon sus out who really loves them and who is using them.

 

17.10.2006, 10:42 quote

Aradon
Aradon Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 3090 Location: United Kingdom, England, Greater Manchester
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Hmm, so i have no rights over my eldest, figures tbh.

I hate how the law automatically takes the mothers side in such cases its one of the few examples of sexual discrimination that im sure is actually written into the law. Its fooked beyond all hope.

I dont get a lot of time with my kids due to work commitments, plus im always skint and have next to no room for them in my flat, i only hope my ex or her wicked mother/sister doesnt poison them against me.

I was asking my eldest if she was behaving in school, she told me she was, then i said and your good at home aswell, and she gave me this reply

"Oh it's okay at home, we've got Daniel to take care of us now"

Daniel is the bloke my missus "left" me for, now why would she give me that kind of answer? it just says to me that she has asked about me and someone has told her it doesn't matter about me becuase this new bloke is there for them. Am i wrong to read it like that? if anyone can give a better explanation as to why she would give me that kind of answer then im all ears.

But overall i think the term "raw deal" just doesn't cut the mustard, its way more fooked than that.
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17.10.2006, 11:05 quote

Anonymous

oookay, you guys have every right to be pissed at the system. My 2nd husband was fleeced by his 1st wife, she took him for everything, and I mean everything... souvenir plates that he'd collected on his travels around the world with the Navy, even a chess set that was his on the grounds that their little girl (who was about 1 year old at the time!!) played with it, plus nigh on £350 a month maintenance ... BUT, it doesn't always go the womans way.

All 4 of my kids were living with me when I split from my 2nd husband. I refused, and signed a piece of paper to say i refused, to touch his Navy pension believing that having only been with him for 6 of his 24 years of service that it was unfair to take what he'd worked so hard for from him, nor would i take a sizeable chunk of his handshake (well over £30,000).. then he had us turfed, lawfully, out of the marital home.

The ensuing breakdown is part of the reason my boys now live with their dad. Guys can be bitches too.

 

21.10.2006, 11:45 quote

wrexcab
wrexcab Joined: 06 Apr 2005 Posts: 28 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
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i think you've got something there red, being a decent person can be seen as a weakness by the other party and an excuse to be an ar**hole, i still would do the same again as i can look back with no guilt in the way i acted during my divorce, i would be supprised if my ex can.

 

21.10.2006, 12:44 quote

Anonymous

wrexcab wrote:
i think you've got something there red, being a decent person can be seen as a weakness by the other party and an excuse to be an ar**hole, i still would do the same again as i can look back with no guilt in the way i acted during my divorce, i would be supprised if my ex can.


Same here Wrex. I did everything i could to make sure I wasn't seen to fleece my ex and to ensure the kids were protected from any nastiness. It's unfortunate my ex didn't share the same thoughts regarding the childrens feelings. My youngest daughter still hasn't forgiven him the things he called me in front of them!

 

21.10.2006, 14:50 quote

Anonymous

Hm - well it's because of all this that me and my ex try to stay friends, even good friends. We do argue more than we used to and it's better we get out of each others' hair if possible, but we buy each other presents, he comes back here and we still tell the old jokes and cook dinner for each other, and generally hang out. In two years he takes over custody (as long as sprog doesn't seriously protest) and I'm cool with that. Definitely better than all the "My other half was a bitch and fifteen years later I still hate him/her." There's a time to get over it, yeah? I'm missing teeth to my old man from when I was a kid, and if I can get over it, anyone can.

 

21.10.2006, 15:13 quote

elkabong
elkabong Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 135 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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Aradon wrote:
Hmm, so i have no rights over my eldest, figures tbh.

I hate how the law automatically takes the mothers side in such cases its one of the few examples of sexual discrimination that im sure is actually written into the law. Its fooked beyond all hope.

I dont get a lot of time with my kids due to work commitments, plus im always skint and have next to no room for them in my flat, i only hope my ex or her wicked mother/sister doesnt poison them against me.



exactly the position i am in myself mate - its not nice and when your skint theres not much you can do to improve your living conditions to take them for longer even if you tried your best to.
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