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Home >> Sex >> wanted ppl's opinions on casual encounters

18.11.2007, 17:10 quote

Anonymous

maggiex35 wrote:
I think the idea of FWB is great for some people but when it comes down to it very few women especially can have regular sex with the same person without getting involved. I suppose you'd have to be in a certain place in your life for it to work.

IMHO obviously...

Rolling Eyes


I agree. Women become totally emotionally involved when sleeping with someone. I think there's something in out make-up that makes us like this. Sometimes i wish i weren't like that. I'd love to be able to have a FWB relationship, but it doesn't work for me.

 

18.11.2007, 17:22 quote

Anonymous

"Women become totally emotionally involved when sleeping with someone".

I think the key word there should be "Some", not all.

There are many women out there who can enjoy sexual encounters either on a casual or long-term basis without getting emotionally involved or even screwed up.

I guess most of them just don't put their side of the story forward on this forum.

 

18.11.2007, 17:25 quote

Anonymous

I think cold, emotionless sex must be an awful thing, but then again, you dont have to go as far as having a full on relationship with someone to have enjoyable sex with them. As long as you like them and enjoy their company thats good enough for me.

 

18.11.2007, 17:38 quote

Anonymous

robthebear wrote:
I think cold, emotionless sex must be an awful thing,


Ah but I hear it pays well. Laughing

 

18.11.2007, 17:55 quote

chikhai

RocketGirl wrote:
I guess most of them just don't put their side of the story forward on this forum.


Yup. Because in a conservative environment such as this they'd be referred to as 'slags'. Isn't that the word usually reserved for a woman who has sex just for sheer enjoyment? I'm guessing they're keeping it under their hat. You don't invite sneers of derision if you can help it.

Lust and love aren't completely mutually exclusive, but they each have their merits. If you're lucky enough to land in that twilight zone between the two then you've hit the jackpot. Of course the emotionally retarded can't tell the difference between either. I'm sure I can't be the only one who has encountered someone who has mistaken regular sex for a relationship. Dating site train wrecks and agony aunt columns are littered with them.

Casual sex isn't without emotion. But it's devoid of the sort of emotion that some people so desperately crave. If casual sex were the sort of sterile, animated butcher's shop window affair (German porn, I'm looking in your direction) that people made out then it simply wouldn't happen. The way I see it is that it's a physical and emotional snack. Like a Finger of Fudge; it's just enough.

 

18.11.2007, 18:02 quote

Anonymous

"Yup. Because in a conservative environment such as this they'd be referred to as 'slags'".

That's a shame, dont you think?
I've never understood that philosophy.
It should be the same sauce for both goose and gander.
I would hardly call this website a "conservative environment" though.

 

18.11.2007, 18:06 quote

Cazzabee
Cazzabee Joined: 05 Jan 2006 Posts: 7257 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Fife
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I'm not scared to admit ive had a couple of FWB.....Filled a required need at the time. Just wish I had one right now Laughing Laughing . i'm not one of those women that gets attached i must admit. Tended to be the other way round which is why I had to end them

 

18.11.2007, 18:11 quote

chikhai

RocketGirl wrote:
I would hardly call this website a "conservative environment" though.


For a dating site it is. Its something thats only really struck me recently.

I couldn't agree more on the double standards thing. Though the whole attitude we've developed towards sex and the sexes over the millennia is at odds with nature anyway, so why break a trend?

 

18.11.2007, 18:17 quote

maggiex35
maggiex35 Joined: 07 Oct 2006 Posts: 154 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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chikhai wrote:
RocketGirl wrote:
I guess most of them just don't put their side of the story forward on this forum.


Yup. Because in a conservative environment such as this they'd be referred to as 'slags'. Isn't that the word usually reserved for a woman who has sex just for sheer enjoyment? I'm guessing they're keeping it under their hat. You don't invite sneers of derision if you can help it.

Lust and love aren't completely mutually exclusive, but they each have their merits. If you're lucky enough to land in that twilight zone between the two then you've hit the jackpot. Of course the emotionally retarded can't tell the difference between either. I'm sure I can't be the only one who has encountered someone who has mistaken regular sex for a relationship. Dating site train wrecks and agony aunt columns are littered with them.

Casual sex isn't without emotion. But it's devoid of the sort of emotion that some people so desperately crave. If casual sex were the sort of sterile, animated butcher's shop window affair (German porn, I'm looking in your direction) that people made out then it simply wouldn't happen. The way I see it is that it's a physical and emotional snack. Like a Finger of Fudge; it's just enough.


I don't think you should label people with FWB as "slags". People have needs, some more than others. Twisted Evil

Personally I couldn't see myself starting to see someone just for sex. Surely that's what ex's are for!!! Wink But I'd never judge someone who did.

 

18.11.2007, 18:40 quote

Anonymous

chikhai wrote:
RocketGirl wrote:
I would hardly call this website a "conservative environment" though.


For a dating site it is. Its something thats only really struck me recently.

I couldn't agree more on the double standards thing. Though the whole attitude we've developed towards sex and the sexes over the millennia is at odds with nature anyway, so why break a trend?


I'm not really familiar with other dating websites.
I guess time itself will change the way people think about things. Just seems to me that time is moving very slow.
I knew a guy in the 1980s he'd be about 70 now, he was sent abroad as a young man for getting a young lady pregnant....and I recently had a neighbor (she was about 70) who had actually been born in a mental institution simply because her mother had her out of wedlock - I know other people still around who were 'locked away' for being ahem promiscuous shall we say?
I know the way I choose to live my own life is what you Chikhai would call "filled with victorian values" - but thats exactly it, how I choose to live my own life.
What anyone else chooses to do with theirs is quite frankly not my concern and nor should it be. Man or woman, their rights to do what they want (in that respect) should be respected.
Hopefully society will move with the times a lot quicker than it got out of the old ones.

 

18.11.2007, 18:46 quote

chikhai

maggiex35 wrote:
I don't think you should label people with FWB as "slags". People have needs, some more than others. Twisted Evil


Far from it. I'm just pointing out exactly why women are less likely to admit they just want a fuck, because thats exactly what people (more likely other women, I might add) will think. Though having said that, a significant percentage of that is the work of the green-eyed monster. They're jealous because they're not getting enough cock and/or don't have the balls (metaphorically speaking) to go out and get it.

Give me a slag any day. At least you know your time in the sack isn't going to end up spent as a therapist for whatever sexual neurosis is running through their head at the time. Nothing ruins the mood like a potted history of their former lovers and what wankers they were, or having to talk somebody down because they don't want you to see a barely visible scar or something. Women who are in it for the crack (no pun) don't tend to give a shit about stuff like that, and so you actually get a little spontaneity, rather than something resembling a procreational bank heist.

 

18.11.2007, 18:59 quote

maggiex35
maggiex35 Joined: 07 Oct 2006 Posts: 154 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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chikhai wrote:
maggiex35 wrote:
I don't think you should label people with FWB as "slags". People have needs, some more than others. Twisted Evil


Far from it. I'm just pointing out exactly why women are less likely to admit they just want a fuck, because thats exactly what people (more likely other women, I might add) will think. Though having said that, a significant percentage of that is the work of the green-eyed monster. They're jealous because they're not getting enough cock and/or don't have the balls (metaphorically speaking) to go out and get it.

Give me a slag any day. At least you know your time in the sack isn't going to end up spent as a therapist for whatever sexual neurosis is running through their head at the time. Nothing ruins the mood like a potted history of their former lovers and what wankers they were, or having to talk somebody down because they don't want you to see a barely visible scar or something. Women who are in it for the crack (no pun) don't tend to give a shit about stuff like that, and so you actually get a little spontaneity, rather than something resembling a procreational bank heist.


Was gonna say I wasn't accusing you of calling women slags but then you did it again. LOL

As I've said before I have no problems with other people's sex life's and agree with Rocketgirl's live and let live attitude. I'm not ashamed to say I enjoy sex and actually have quite a healthy sex life with an ex (yes I know it'll end in tears!!!) but if I ever thought he regarded me as a slag I would be absolutely raging and he would lose out on some fantastic nights.

Very Happy

 

18.11.2007, 19:26 quote

chikhai

Please don't tell me I need to suffix everything with a smilie so people don't take things so literally. The written word has managed for thousands of years without dumbing down to that extent.

Anyway, the point being I'd have far more respect for a woman who is comfortable with her own body and isn't afraid to use it. To me it shows confidence. Not that 'I'm a tiger! Raaah!' faux-confidence bollocks. Genuine confidence where they know exactly what they want and, more importantly, how to get it.

The coy ones, in my limited experience, usually have something to hide. And it's rarely something good. I used to be a proper old-fashioned romantic and used to love an air of mystery. Then I realised that air of mystery is similar to that of the Bermuda Triangle. And look what happened there?

Cards on the table or no deal from now on. It's fraught with risk, but what the fuck, you only live once. It's paid off so far though. Even if things have ended up a little complicated. It keeps life interesting.

 

29.01.2008, 11:54 quote

chrisfromaus
chrisfromaus Joined: 24 Jan 2008 Posts: 16 Location: United Kingdom, England, London
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The best FBs ive found are ones that come in and out of country.

It eliminates the risk of getting emotionally attached.

My last one screwed up because she went behind my back about going out with someone. I think thats not really cool shagging me and seeing someone else on a more personal level. Number one rule. Always be honest with your FB.

 

29.01.2008, 20:59 quote

Anonymous

scottie69 wrote:
Its been quite a while since i had casual sex, these days i tend to want to get to know someone for a while before i go to bed with them, to me that is just more enjoyable.

No arguing about that now Laughing Laughing


actually that is not true, i met my current girlfriend in september and we had sex on the first day, i guess that counts as casual sex even though we are in relationship now, but we wasn't then...so i guess i am just a mass of contradictions Laughing Laughing

 
 
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