What do you think?

You hear it all the time: husbands complaining that their wives have lost their love drive since marriage. Sometimes its hormonal problems that need to be addressed with counselling or a visit to the doctor but many times it is something more simple. Her libido can diminish simply because of the daily routine, the "rut" and fast pace of life. The fresh beginning and infatuation of the new marriage is gone; and with it, the butterflies and extra spunk. Once married for a while, every day is repetitive and marriage may seem like work. The more of a rut, the more stress is created. As stresses pile up, her libido takes a nose dive. And yes, husbands have similar stress levels. Yet, unlike his wife a man with stresses would love a little nookie to reduce the stress. So on one hand, men need love when they're stressing and women don't want love when they're stressed out

No myth there vixen. At least in my case it was not a myth as it did decrease. I can't speak for all but i will speak for myself.

Between the job, my hobbies, the kids and everything else making time to make love, as sad as it sounds, got to be an effort and the fact that i worked nights did not help much either.

I have always had a relatively higher than normal drive but it just did not get filled as much as had wanted it to.

I really dont believe it's a myth either, it did happen to me also in my 17 years of marriage, my love drive did decrease to an all time low & in the end I didnt want to make love at all.Hence to say my marriage broke up:(

Now i'm single I feel the complete opposite, but sadly no one to share it with, thats life! I suppose.

I have never understood this myth ............. why would your love drive disappear just because you have a ring on your finger ??????? very bizarre ........... i have been married albeit for a short time .......... but it never effected our love life ........

I agree with annmarie, why would your love drive disappear just because you're married? I think it has more to do with long term relationships in general and the state of the relationship. Having never been married I couldn't comment on it from that aspect, I have however been in a long term relationship (12 years and possibly longer than some marriages!!) and to be honest it never really effected us in any way. I'm pretty sure had we got married it wouldn't have made any difference either.

There were a many reasons why things changed, one being mental abuse, made to feel so crap that I felt worthless, my confidence fell to an all time low, I stuck it out for many years like you do, afraid to end it & be alone. I did take that step in the end & it was the best thing I ever did, although I wish I was'nt alone now as I am at an all time high sexually & have never felt so confident & good about myself.

Maybe I just fell out of love, surprisingly!!!

love decreases after marriage?

After the demise of my marriage, I've found that my love life sky-rocketted.

Ummmmm..........have I mis-understood the question?

tim

I dunno about marriage but after a 6 year relationship, it got to the stage on once a month when drunk, so not good! Mine declined the longer we were together.

Ive heard it increases, …just not with the person your married too

If the couple have waited til they marry to consumate the relationship, then it can only get better, no?

I think depends on your mindset.

A friend of mine is due to marry in april, now she has cold feet.
She seems to think having a ring on her finger means that she has been 'claimed/branded' and will no longer be so attracted to her man.
I dont understand this....they've been living together for 4 yrs and have a child. How can a ring on a finger make all the difference to what goes on in the bedroom?
If one or other of the couple see marriage as the end of the chase, then perhaps they might cool off intimately......now I've got you I dont really want you? No longer needing to bother making much effort.....But might that not be so in any intimate relationship?
I have noticed over the years some people do seem to have that kind of mentality about it.

There are enough jokes about marriage putting an end to good love, so I guess somewhere along the line, there is some truth --- for some people, not all.
My marriage was not like that, wedded bliss and all that - it was puerperal psychosis caused by the birth of my second child and the circumstances surrounding the birth. Sadly, it killed the marriage, but thankfully not me.

Let's all remember a couple of things about us older men. We peak sexually around the 18 year mark unlike women who peak around the 40 year mark.

I am not saying that my love drive is gone because it is not however it is diminishing. Hopefully it wont diminish to the point where i don't even think about it any more but as of lately i still think about love quite frequently. The older i get the more i am in control of that drive. I am not this 18 year old hormonal child that NEEDS to get laid any more. If i was in a relationship i would be having love instead of loving myself as i am at the moment

I don't know what it is that makes some people just get on with the day to day thing and not have love in their lives as often as other people.

Well this thread made me excited about getting married.

I think its a question of how strong your relationship is, how honest you can be with each other and both of you making an effort. If you have a bad relationship your not going to want to have love (been there, done it got the T-shirt) but as long as you've got the right man i can't see it would if you both made a concerted effort not to let life get in the way. x