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Home >> Sex >> Things You Learn From Watching Porn:
29.12.2008, 16:25 quote
Women wear high heels to bed.
Men are never impotent.
When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he fucks her.
Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.
Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.
Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
Women always orgasm when men do.
A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
All women are noisy fucks.
People in the 1970's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
Those tits are real.
A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.
If there is two of them they 'high five' each other, (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
Double penetration makes women smile.
If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you, if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
There is a plot.
When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.
Nurses suck patients cocks.
Men always pull out.
When your girlfriend busts in when you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before joining in.
Women never have headaches.
When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'.
Arseholes are clean.
A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.
Men don't have to beg.
When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head, and the other proudly on his hip.
Spitting on genitalia is fashionable.
29.12.2008, 16:26 quote
so true
Best get yourself down the job centre Jegs, sounds like the ideal job for you mate
29.12.2008, 16:42 quote
Someone has to do it
If I sign on again, think I'll put porn star down as previous experience, see what reaction I get
29.12.2008, 17:00 quote
Very funny
Here's one you missed: women dont need foreplay before sex, giving a bj is adequate!
29.12.2008, 17:46 quote
all women does anal, with no problems
most of them have their first anal experience,on these movies
they are happy to show to the guy how does her asshole looks like after they got fucked
they enjoy being called: Bitch, whore,pig,dog....anytime
men always comes into the screen with a stif one
he'll allways get spoiled without any return favour
he likes any pussy
he doesn't say no to any
the girls always look for the cock :" want to suck a/few big(black/white) cock(s)" (no age,phisical problems)
.......
29.12.2008, 18:29 quote
| unimportant wrote: |
| all women does anal, with no problems
most of them have their first anal experience,on these movies
they are happy to show to the guy how does her asshole looks like after they got fucked they enjoy being called: Bitch, whore,pig,dog....anytime men always comes into the screen with a stif one he'll allways get spoiled without any return favour he likes any pussy he doesn't say no to any the girls always look for the cock :" want to suck a/few big(black/white) cock(s)" (no age,phisical problems) ....... |
Every mans dream eh!
Shame it only happens in the movies
29.12.2008, 21:25 quote
| cheekykev wrote: | ||
Every mans dream eh!
Shame it only happens in the movies |
You just shattered all my hopes and dreams Cheeky, I hope your pleased with yourself!
_________________
It's always times like these,
When I think of you And I wonder,
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29.12.2008, 21:42 quote
You missed the fact that all women are bi...haha
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BWZwBLh2JaM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=NL&feature=related&v=Hp5NrLR_G7M
29.12.2008, 21:44 quote
| cheekykev wrote: | ||
Every mans dream eh!
Shame it only happens in the movies |
it was ironic
is my main thing
29.12.2008, 23:23 quote
| unimportant wrote: | ||
are u ever serious ? ![]() |
That is probably a better question then you think mate
30.12.2008, 21:21 quote
How many women love being pissed on??
Getting back on topic - according to "insert your cheesy 70's porn mag name here" all of them.
30.12.2008, 21:26 quote
| jeggae wrote: |
How many women love being pissed on?? ![]() |
How many men do?
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