The absolute killer...

"Is it in yet?"
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My least discreet blurt 'sorry that's my clitoris not an emergency buzzer! Don't poke it, stroke it!' oddly enough the guy got mardy, however I didn't feel at all remorseful since he got mardy but I got friction burns

But my mum says it's supposed to look like that.
Not so loud! You'll wake the monster under my bed.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

"Hey that reminds me, we're almost out of cheese."

Are you sure this isn't your first time?????

Got to get that, it's probably the doctor calling with the results of my chlamydia test.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

i can't see a flashing red light, you must be imagining things
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Hmmmmm u been eating pickled onions????

"Ohhhhhh Frodo"
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He shoots, he scores! Sorry love, i haven't finished. Drogba just scored a cracker from 30 yards.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

Could you lie on this bin bag please. I don't want to stain mother's best sheets.

What are you doing awake?
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

when you said it wouldn't take long you weren't kidding were you!!!!