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Home >> Sex >> Longest you went without love??

14.07.2008, 09:22 quote

scaramuccia

choochi0 wrote:
scaramuccia wrote:
choochi0 wrote:

Yes yes, is there any more? I was hoping for when where I would meet him, what he looks like so I can recognise him and what witty things I would need to say to lure him into my bed. Not too much to ask?!


Unfortunately it is not within my power to predict the when and where you might meet this tall dark handsome stranger; with the current spate of unstable weather affecting the natural course of events, these things are somewhat volatile. However, this meeting does seem to involve travel, the inconvenience of which is predicted to be compensated by multiple orgasms and cork legs. I am hesitant to predict what witty things you would need to say to lure this stranger into your bed, but from personal experience I would recommend that witticisms should be restricted to your usual range of banter, so as not to step into unchartered territory.

/* TING!! Sorry, the silver you inserted has not been recognized as valid British currency, please insert another coin and try again */


Sod it. I've run out of change.


You found any more change yet?

 
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14.07.2008, 09:29 quote

choochi0

Do you take Euros? I've got some left over from my trip to Dublin.

 
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14.07.2008, 10:26 quote

scaramuccia

choochi0 wrote:
Do you take Euros? I've got some left over from my trip to Dublin.


I suppose I’d better move with the times and take Euros, eh?

I also accept: vouchers for nice coffee shops in London, Waterstones gift vouchers, AA batteries, Rizlas (green), Pantone mugs, bags of Galaxy Minstrels, sexual favours, blue Smarties or useful electrical gadgets for my computer.

 
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14.07.2008, 10:46 quote

choochi0

scaramuccia wrote:
choochi0 wrote:
Do you take Euros? I've got some left over from my trip to Dublin.


I suppose I’d better move with the times and take Euros, eh?

I also accept: vouchers for nice coffee shops in London, Waterstones gift vouchers, AA batteries, Rizlas (green), Pantone mugs, bags of Galaxy Minstrels, sexual favours, blue Smarties or useful electrical gadgets for my computer.


As I said on another thread, I don't really like to carry that much on me, but I did find some melted blue smarties stuck to the inner lining of my jeans. I'm sure the fluff will enhance the flavour.

 
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17.07.2008, 18:01 quote

scorching

10 months

 
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18.07.2008, 09:53 quote

scaramuccia

love?

Oooh, yes please!!

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18.07.2008, 10:25 quote

choochi0

Erm....are you trying to mock the less fortunate of us?

 
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18.07.2008, 13:34 quote

scaramuccia

choochi0 wrote:
Erm....are you trying to mock the less fortunate of us?


Not at all, it was a polite request. It should really have gone in the love Requests thread

Um, haven't you met that tall dark handsome stranger and lured him into bed with your witty banter yet?

 
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18.07.2008, 13:52 quote

missnopants

Something on your mind tall sir? Have no green Rizlas, blue Smarties, Galaxy Minstrels etc, but am happy to oblige in carnal activities should you choose to visit later! Wink

 
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18.07.2008, 14:03 quote

scaramuccia

missnopants wrote:
Something on your mind tall sir? Have no green Rizlas, blue Smarties, Galaxy Minstrels etc, but am happy to oblige in carnal activities should you choose to visit later! Wink


Oh, no, the Smarties, Minstrels and Rizlas etc were for my predictions services!

I have absolutely no interest in material gain for afore-mentioned carnal activities, although perhaps we could combine resources? I am a simple soul. If you provide some chicken and rice, I’ll bring some wine (and pate for toast in the morning) and we can call it quits on additional incentive?

Although, of course, this has absolutely nothing to do with the topic itself, which is “Longest you went without love??"

 
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18.07.2008, 14:46 quote

missnopants

I do beg your pardon for using this post inappropriately! Nearly two years, which is outrageous as I was living with a man at the time, he just wasn't into love! Or maybe I'm just not his type! (Your on by the way!! )

 
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18.07.2008, 22:23 quote

megalone

I went for 16 years without love, I'm not proud of it, but when I left school I sure made up for it....

 
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19.07.2008, 03:33 quote

choochi0

scaramuccia wrote:


Um, haven't you met that tall dark handsome stranger and lured him into bed with your witty banter yet?


My witty banter is not getting me very far at all. Stupid witty banter.

 
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22.07.2008, 08:53 quote

scaramuccia

choochi0 wrote:
scaramuccia wrote:


Um, haven't you met that tall dark handsome stranger and lured him into bed with your witty banter yet?


My witty banter is not getting me very far at all. Stupid witty banter.


I am deeply saddened by your news that your delightful witty banter has not attracted some suitably intelligent young gentleman who would appreciate you for your numerous charms. I would urge you to continue using your finely honed wit as a lure on the internet, as I am most certain that you would be unhappy with someone who did not share your sense of humour. Should you feel that the internet is lacking in men who are suitable for your requirements, needs and desires, I have no hesitation in suggesting the procurement of a 3-legged dog to use a lure in real life.

 
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22.07.2008, 10:31 quote

choochi0

scaramuccia wrote:
choochi0 wrote:
scaramuccia wrote:


Um, haven't you met that tall dark handsome stranger and lured him into bed with your witty banter yet?


My witty banter is not getting me very far at all. Stupid witty banter.


I am deeply saddened by your news that your delightful witty banter has not attracted some suitably intelligent young gentleman who would appreciate you for your numerous charms. I would urge you to continue using your finely honed wit as a lure on the internet, as I am most certain that you would be unhappy with someone who did not share your sense of humour. Should you feel that the internet is lacking in men who are suitable for your requirements, needs and desires, I have no hesitation in suggesting the procurement of a 3-legged dog to use a lure in real life.


Hmmmmmm. You may have something there - although if the three-legged dog you are suggesting is your own I might have to question your commitment to the poor pooch. First you steal her money then you try to give her away!

 
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