Hi all,
My first post here, so please be gentle.

So here's the thing: I was chatting to a very old woman friend (she'd kill me if she thought I was calling her very old! - I mean we've been friends for a long time) and she said that she and most women she knows find having a proper friendship with a guy quite difficult because she's always waiting subconsciously for the moment when he 'drops the hand', to use her fantastic turn of phrase.

I found this quite depressing, as I don't think I've ever made a pass at a female friend except when it was obvious that something more was going on. And believe me, it would have to be blindingly obvious for me to get it. I'm complete rubbish at these things. But I've been giving it a lot of thought, and have some questions for you:

1. Women: do you live in dread of the 'dropped hand'?

2. Guys: would you make a move on your women friends as a matter of course?

3. Everyone: what exactly is a 'dropped hand'? I don't think I've ever dropped one but I'd like to be certain.

I've never heard of the phrase the "DROPPED HAND" either, but the first thing that sprung to my mind was not "A PASS" but being "HIT" like if you have a raised hand you're going to hit somebody so if it drops, you've hit them. If I sensed a guy was like that I'd be gone.

BUT if it's about a male friend making a pass, I must admit to sometimes being slightly aloof and actively discouraging the closeness, hugs, peck on the cheek etc.like I may do with other friends, if I can sense they're liking me special and I don't have those feelings towards them. In other words, I don't encourage them, and I am more mindful of what I'm wearing and talking.

So generally I don't live in fear of the 'dropped hand' but I guess there are certain people that would bring out a particular behaviour in me.
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I think she's talking about guys making a pass, rather than any suggestion of violence. Must ask her next time I see her.

Hell, I don't think I'd even know how to 'make a pass'. What sort of 'passing' moves do blokes use? Does any woman ever really welcome a pass? This sort of behaviour all seems really strange to me.

By the way Mirrorpool, thanks for posting in my threads. Nobody else seems to have anything to say to me

I've heard the expression 'to drop the hand' and it has to do with making some physical 'pass' at the woman ie touching up or pinching bottoms or (in the old days! ) 'interfering with', getting to second base, etc.

When I first read your post, I had the idea (putting the 1st para and the 2nd together) that maybe this friend was saying - in a coded way - 'How come you've never made a pass at me?' or 'I'm getting cheesed off waiting for you to drop your hand!'
Is that possible or likely?

Lke you, I wouldn't make a pass at a friend and I also tend not to notice unless it's blindingly obvious. It'd have to be something like...
'Did you want to come up for a bit?'
'Naw, I'll get along. We had coffee in the restaurant and ...'
'God, you can be dense sometimes! Did you want to come up for A BIT?'
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I'm not much of a girls girl and until recently it never occurred to me that my male friends would have any kind of sexual attraction to me, I mean we're mates I've seen most on their worst days and they're like family.
Then my aunt told me that all men secretly want a go at their female friends even when they don't know it. This grossed and creeped me out a bit so I asked my female friends who all said they do live in fear of the drunken pass or the emotional shoulder pass and I was stunned.
Just to make sure women aren't just dramatic, I asked a lot of my male friends who also said this was true!!! I didn't know where to look it was beyond awkward so I dread to think how less assertive women deal with this kind of a friendship. I'm very honest and blunt and told them never gonna happen and they already knew so it was fine but I don't know how women who think this go about their lives without strokes etc everytime a mate hugs them. I don't know how these men have friendships with women without becomming erect frequently. It's all a bit odd to me but I can safely say I've never lived in fear or anticipation of a friend of mine coming onto me it just never occurred to
me that it was probable