My eyesight's getting bad, so I went to the optician's yesterday.
Guess who I bumped into................ EVERYONE.

So what's the punch line ......
ha ha ha

But then 'spose you do have to put urself through this torture to look nice

Nice one dirty angel - pure & wicked

A bit too close for comfort is that one. Takes me down memory lane. ha ha ha

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
......AND THE MIDWIFE WAS TREATED FOR SHOCK

THE OLD ONE'S ARE THE BEST

Hickory dickory dock
Two mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
.........But the other one got away with minor cuts and bruises.......

What's blue and f**ks grannies ???


HYPOTHERMIA.

Ha ha what an absolute corker

Hickory Dickory dock

Two Mice ran up the clock

The clock struck one

But the other one got away with minor cuts and bruises.........

Heard about the Dyslexic pimp.....



..... well he bought a Warehouse.

Elephant asked Ant if he had ever played a game. Ant said he had heard about snooker but not played it. Elephant tried to explain the rules but ant didn't understant. Finally elephant sucked ant up ...

PMSL.... good one, i'll remember that for next time i'm up at maternity hey thanks for ur support - lol - yurr lukin a wee bat lyk charles kennedy and paul collingwood in that theyr kilt of yurs ...

Lady Brown's newspaper bill gets to £10 and she appears to be ignoring it despite several reminders from the newsagent.
The newsagent takes on a well built new paperboy and sends him to Lady Brown's ...

Top joke - very seasonal too

Two Pakistanies move to Scotland and make a bet on who will be most Scottish after a year. One of them moves to Edinburgh and the other moves to Easterhouse. A year later they meet up again and the on ...