I've been known to spank the odd woman here and there, all very consensual and very good fun. Not into bondage or BDSM though.

Pity you gave away the punchline in the title of a joke, though it reminds me of one I heard at school many years ago.


A man walked into a pub with a multi-coloured parrot perched upon his should ...

As opposed to formal sex when you're in a suit & tie.....

Hey, that works for me... 'specially if I give her a formal spanking first.

What is a Notts accent similar to?

It depends where you are in the county. It's difficult to describe, but I'd say it's a midlands accent where one or two vowel sounds are nudged slightly in the d ...

My naval's an inny, although the bit immediately surrounding it is slightly outy. Must do something about that.

I have OCD.

Laura Dahling Please!

Please don't say Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Instead, say Compulsive Obsessive Disorder (COD) because that is in alphabetical order.

Nice try ...

I think this is a good thing. I don't send very many messages, so the ones I do send are important. Compare that to the males who fire off dozens of "fancy meeting for a shag?" or similar ...

If he's a scaffolder we should be grateful he didn't refer to the length of his pole.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0uk4F2RNSs

Well, he seems to know what he's looking for in a partner. I wonder how much success he's had with that ad.?

Sadly i think the geeks here like to talk about computer games rather than the girls that like geeks!

You could always start talking about computer games yourself. You probably grew u ...

Ah, computer games.

Does anybody want to see my Jetset Willy?

Excellent, are you buying everyone a drink? I'll have a pint of lager please.

Well, I have only seen footage of the busby babes - And they did look good




I'd rather see footage of some busty babes.

I might have to buy one of those robotic vacuum cleaners to do the job for me.

Unfortunately I find myshelf temporarily inconvenienshed to the exshtent that I am unable to anshwer you at thish moment in time. I sheem to exshperienshing shome temporary memory losh and the room s ...