Businessmen wear the suit,
To look the part they must,
But pension funds they loot!
So suits are not things to trust.
We must be astute!
And ban the suit!

All soldiers lose compassion,
When their uniform is on.
They kill in robot fashion,
But are human when it’s done.
We must be partial!
And ban anything martial!

Priests don’t lose their libido
When dressed in collar and black.
Their passions lie below,
But does that hold them back?
Let’s not go hysterical!
But ban anything clerical!

Guards wear a uniform stitched,
Prisoners jail clothes chafe.
But suppose they were switched
Would we know who was safe?
From here the word spreads!
Ban all prison threads!

Yes, clothes do make the man,
As Mark Twain said they do.
And you’ve just seen they can,
Cause a problem or two.
The solution, I propose.
Let’s ban clothes!

(This is homework for my poetry class.)
(And - No! - I don't believe the faults lie in the clothes! )
_________________
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
(Jack Benny)

Well done you! Love it!

In films we see the lovers at dawn, awakening in bed.

We watch them cuddle, gaze, caress... with very little said.

So beautiful, so loving too, in that sensual unmade bed.

But in real-life we duly know what the fearing audiences dread: the un-conveyed fetid rank whiffs of the lovers' sweaty used groins, traces of leaked poo up their bum cracks from not wanting to break off during the night, B.O., eye scum, snot, over-night farts in the air, thick spit, greasy foreheads, smelly feet, dried white and yellow (possibly even brown) stains on the bottom bedsheet, crispy yellowed kleenexes thrown around the carpet, used johnnys slung onto the hotel room's radiator, a glass one's part-urinated into to save going to the loo, a hand towel that now stands up on its own, a plastic bag with grease on from a failed 'experiment', one of the lovers coming on their period part-way through the night, and dog breath from both giving head (until the period began as a surprise mouthful for one of them... beginning with a metallic taste).

As the lovers romantically holiday in the Med'.

The Pool Attendant.
The was a young woman called Jules,
Who used to drain off swimming pools,
But if times ever got hard,
She’d proposition the lifeguard,
And for cash, she’d drain off his family jewels.