I was just messing around playing with the idea of a Shakespearean sonnet but this came out. I would appreciate any comments Thanks.


Like Arthur in his quest to find the grail
And Jericho before the trumpets wail
Like Achilles at Ilium, I fell
From favour and from grace into this Hell
What once was pure is now but rank and base
And beauty turned to sorrow and disgrace
This dreamers dream and fantasy now met
With rue and painful partings I regret

So solitary heart of mine I pray
Forgive my foolish deeds of yesterday
Find courage and the kindness to release
My soul tormented to find lasting peace
Come walk with me in fields of dream once more
to find repose like lovers as before.


I don't know if it will make sense to anyone else though.

Half past twelve

why u call me so early? its a half past twelve
I got to wake up in the morning and compose myself
put on my brave face put on my smile
dance for the wolves, you know they might eat me up
hunger wild divide my spoil
larger than rats and a little more serious
Their eyes burn with a thousand souls
hunt thee not me wolf i ask in despair
howl at the bloody moon
in just that moment you too hunger
as i know the lonely night
in just that moment i have become you
when the night eye is full and has seen through your guile
will you call me so early,dont call me so early,
i got to wake up in the morning and compose myself
i got to wake up in the morning and try to smile.

I want to leave
far away
from the life I live
I want to reincarnate
be somebody new
with different face
with new name
give me name
remake me
invent me
make me
as you want
make me
your fantasy
make me
your reality
let me be
through you
you are
my identity

Why you escaped
From me?
We met
And you just
Disappeared
Like a meteor
You flashed in my life
Then you were just gone
You were just
Twist in my sobriety
And I was just
Twist in your sobriety
We crashed
Like distant galaxies
Who were you?
And was I?
Just strangers in the night
When the day was gone
I was only yours
Secrets whispered
Travellers on the same boat

Sorrow my home
My only blame
Is that I stay alone
In that flame
You set me in passion
That is my jail
Set me free
Be my knight
My crusader
Stay with me
At the night
Till sunrise

I will pick your heart
I will scratch your hands
But your eyes, your eyes
Will keep for me
Whispers to me the fiery hawk
Laid wings on my breast

Candle burns, white candle
Between the anemony petals
Then its flame fades
Blown away from the wind
Weary fades and withers
And with her and the unicorn

not so much a comment as a question.... why so hung up on classical imagery? sonnets are cool but rondells are cooler, but the images date it horribly, almost leave an anachronistic aftertaste.
as dylan said, a poem is a naked soul, well he might have said it. and yes the thing that i posted also refers to Troy, but hippocrates was also greek!!
and it can work,
"everything is susceptible, Pythagoras said so"
Derek Mahon