|
| |
|
|
All times are GMT - 1 Hours
|
|
 |
06.05.2008, 19:20 |
 |
Author |
Message |
PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3222 Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire
|
| Post subject: Past beauty to the pain. |
|
|
Right.
This is my latest poem, and I'm not sure if I actually like it. I still think it needs a lot of work. It's different to my usual style (I shall post some older ones later on..when I've typed them all out again!)
If anybody can give any comments (good or bad) then I shall be very happy!
I write from my heart,
I sing from my soul,
and in life's painful art,
always I will know,
that love can hurt,
and friends can lie,
but in loving them,
I will not cry,
I will not faulter,
nor crumble or shatter,
despite all the pain,
I know that I matter,
life is more than words,
love is strong in me,
and as I watch the soaring birds,
the future I can see,
and maybe it's just images,
I've made in my head,
but these images of hope,
save me from being dead,
the dreams I have,
that I share in prose,
whether seen or not,
everyone knows,
it's hidden in my eyes,
past the pain and tears,
when I gaze into the skies,
I feel not my fears,
take in the beauty,
while its still around,
enjoy all the faults,
that litter the ground,
life is not perfect,
and we are not saints,
but we're here nonetheless,
so don't focus on taints,
feel the sun on your skin,
and the wind in your hair,
dance in the rain,
it might not always be there,
stop to scent flowers,
or gaze at the sky,
because the beauty in life,
is the reason we should really cry. _________________ Laura
xx
Confidence - Wear it like make up. |
|
| |
|
|
 |
06.05.2008, 20:01 |
 |
Author |
Message |
s6boystu

Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 1915 Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex
|
|
| |
|
|
 |
06.05.2008, 20:55 |
 |
Author |
Message |
wolfwoman

Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 186 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
| awwww loved it, great flow to it, and a great ending. |
|
| |
|
|
 |
06.05.2008, 21:00 |
 |
Author |
Message |
PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3222 Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
Thank you to the both of you _________________ Laura
xx
Confidence - Wear it like make up. |
|
| |
|
|
 |
07.05.2008, 09:21 |
 |
Author |
Message |
klee1986xxxx

Joined: 02 May 2008 Posts: 98 Location: United Kingdom, England, East Yorkshire
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
That is a REALLY good poem Laura and u know what that would be a REALLY nice song too  |
|
| |
|
|
 |
07.05.2008, 13:20 |
 |
Author |
Message |
PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3222 Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
Thank you, Klee
A song? Not sure about that one.. _________________ Laura
xx
Confidence - Wear it like make up. |
|
| |
|
|
 |
08.05.2008, 09:30 |
 |
Author |
Message |
grooveme

Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 545 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
I agree with Klee that would make a great song. _________________ Remember my name...you'll be screaming it later |
|
| |
|
|
 |
08.05.2008, 11:31 |
 |
Author |
Message |
PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3222 Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
Next time I'm up at my aunties I shall have a mess around on the piano..haha. _________________ Laura
xx
Confidence - Wear it like make up. |
|
| |
|
|
 |
11.05.2008, 10:26 |
 |
Author |
Message |
jameslore

Joined: 02 May 2008 Posts: 120 Location: United Kingdom, England, London
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
I loved the sentiment and the fact it was actuley pretty upbeat dispite there being a little darkness in there to.
Good rythem as well  |
|
| |
|
|
 |
11.05.2008, 18:13 |
 |
Author |
Message |
PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3222 Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire
|
| Post subject: |
|
|
Thank you
That's what I was going for. _________________ Laura
xx
Confidence - Wear it like make up. |
|
| |
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|