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06.05.2008, 19:20
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PasleptSiekare

PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 3222
Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire

Post subject: Past beauty to the pain. REPLY WITH QUOTE

Right.

This is my latest poem, and I'm not sure if I actually like it. I still think it needs a lot of work. It's different to my usual style (I shall post some older ones later on..when I've typed them all out again!)

If anybody can give any comments (good or bad) then I shall be very happy!



I write from my heart,
I sing from my soul,
and in life's painful art,
always I will know,
that love can hurt,
and friends can lie,
but in loving them,
I will not cry,
I will not faulter,
nor crumble or shatter,
despite all the pain,
I know that I matter,
life is more than words,
love is strong in me,
and as I watch the soaring birds,
the future I can see,
and maybe it's just images,
I've made in my head,
but these images of hope,
save me from being dead,
the dreams I have,
that I share in prose,
whether seen or not,
everyone knows,
it's hidden in my eyes,
past the pain and tears,
when I gaze into the skies,
I feel not my fears,
take in the beauty,
while its still around,
enjoy all the faults,
that litter the ground,
life is not perfect,
and we are not saints,
but we're here nonetheless,
so don't focus on taints,
feel the sun on your skin,
and the wind in your hair,
dance in the rain,
it might not always be there,
stop to scent flowers,
or gaze at the sky,
because the beauty in life,
is the reason we should really cry.

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06.05.2008, 20:01
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s6boystu

s6boystu

Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 1915
Location: United Kingdom, England, Essex

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

Wow - that's feckin awesome Cool
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06.05.2008, 20:55
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wolfwoman

wolfwoman

Joined: 29 Apr 2008
Posts: 186
Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

awwww loved it, great flow to it, and a great ending.
 
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06.05.2008, 21:00
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PasleptSiekare

PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 3222
Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

Thank you to the both of you
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07.05.2008, 09:21
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klee1986xxxx

klee1986xxxx

Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 98
Location: United Kingdom, England, East Yorkshire

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

That is a REALLY good poem Laura and u know what that would be a REALLY nice song too
 
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07.05.2008, 13:20
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PasleptSiekare

PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 3222
Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

Thank you, Klee Embarassed


A song? Not sure about that one..

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08.05.2008, 09:30
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grooveme

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Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 545
Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

I agree with Klee that would make a great song.
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08.05.2008, 11:31
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PasleptSiekare

PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 3222
Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

Embarassed

Next time I'm up at my aunties I shall have a mess around on the piano..haha.

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11.05.2008, 10:26
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jameslore

jameslore

Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 120
Location: United Kingdom, England, London

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

I loved the sentiment and the fact it was actuley pretty upbeat dispite there being a little darkness in there to.

Good rythem as well Smile
 
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11.05.2008, 18:13
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PasleptSiekare

PasleptSiekare

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Posts: 3222
Location: United Kingdom, England, Nottinghamshire

Post subject: REPLY WITH QUOTE

Thank you

That's what I was going for.

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