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Home >> Poetry & Literature >> A couple of sketches for song lyrics
27.07.2010, 20:33 quote
I'm posting some freshly written blank poems that I'll probably use as lyrics for my band, any feedback is welcome ! I might post some more things in the future, depending on ammount of feedback given...
Keep in mind that English is not my first language !
"Dried flowers"
And these little thorns they hurt as hell
why didn't you believe
I was on your side
Went on a walk to clear my mind
but this red horizon doesn't purge my eyes
this is how you would blush
if I touched you now
You had no worries till that day
our fingers met
why didn't you believe
I was on your side
there was napalm in our breaths
it burned the skin
you wouldn't believe how dirty I feel
but it was you trying to wash me away
why didn't you believe
I was on your side
I could stagger back home now
with your pictures and books
it would feel like coming back to you
but I think I'll stay here for a while
here on your grave
I'll stay for a while
This day swollen with blood
when your pure eyes
met this blind bloodthirsty crowd
they seized last hope from your arms
standing on the roof smiling
with dried flowers in your hand
why didn't you believe
I was on your side
"The pages we torn out"
This lingering feeling
like someone is being unfaithful
I don't know if it's you or me
trying to say goodbye
in my little funny ways
it doesn't really work
I'll torn out the pages
I want to forget
and burn them
so that I can sleep tonight
I might have missed something
among the words you said
or maybe I just miss you
We keep reaching with our fingers
finding only barbed wire
and when we find a gap
we dive right in
but find that
there is nothing inside
and there will never be
27.07.2010, 20:59 quote
It doesn't come across that English is not your first language. I think it's a great piece of writing and will probably work well as song lyrics. I hope we get the opportunity to hear your band play it eventually ![]()
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28.07.2010, 19:40 quote
I'd like to thank everyone for their feedback , I'm proud and happy to see some positive opinions. Hopefully there will be more comments...
As for the big market for "dark lyrics" in Finland ? I believe that there might be, from what I know of the Finnish music scene, I'll need to talk to my Finnish friends, maybe we will start a little factory and export the lyrics ? I don't know though, if I should sell them by the pound or in crates?
Jokes aside, I'm not playing a doomed poet, I've been writing since I was a teen and being inspired by poets like Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Lautreamont or Byron, to name just a few, I naturally lean towards surreal and dark.
29.07.2010, 19:19 quote
The line about Finland was serious. I'm in contact with 12 writers and a composer (as colleagues) from Finland and the market is genuine. Try this guy: Tapio Ylinen - http://www.eclipse-music.net/English/index.html
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