Haven't done one of these for a while. I'm in a daft mood tonight so...

Today I am bringing you a band whom someone has written the following about on Wikipedia: "A full understanding of HMHB lyrics is perhaps predicated on being born on Merseyside in the 1950s or 1960s, being unemployed (or at least not working, to permit exposure to daytime television) in the mid-1980s to early 1990s, and being an obsessive hoarder of books, records, football trivia, and memories of obscure television programmes."

I agree with that 100%. Yes, it's Half Man Half Biscuit. Without further ado have a listen to this lunacy - "Joy Division Oven Gloves." It's live.. the video's crap but the sound isn't bad.



Well the dish is too hot
you'll never guess what
I've got Joy Division oven gloves
If it's her desire
I'll put my fingers in the fire
Cause I've got Joy Division oven gloves

I've got Joy Division oven gloves

Ooh ooh tropical diseases
Ooh ooh chemical alarm
Ooh ooh I'm a little blasé
In me Joy Division oven gloves
In me Joy Division oven gloves

I've been here and I've been there
In me Joy Division oven gloves
I''ve been to a post-punk postcard fair
In me Joy Division oven gloves

Ooh ooh Nagasaki towpath
Ooh ooh tickling the laird
Ooh ooh checking out the Quantocks
In me Joy Division oven gloves

In me Joy Division oven gloves

On a sinking ship a sailor yearns
For his Joy Division oven gloves
Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns
In his Joy Division oven gloves

Talk to the hand, talk to the hand!
In his Joy Division oven gloves
Dance dance dance dance
In your Joy Division oven gloves

Ooh ooh piccalilli shinpads
Ooh ooh polishing the knave
I keep wicket for the Quakers
In me Joy Division oven gloves

My grandfather's clock was too tall for the shelf
So I sold it and opened up a stall
Selling Joy Division oven gloves
We got Joy Division oven gloves
Get your Joy Division oven gloves

Hallelujah!


.............madness.