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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Women 30+ without emotional baggage?

19.06.2007, 12:09 quote

Eldorado47
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 56 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cambridgeshire
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I have a close friend who has been treated badly by men for many many years, and she still keeps attracting them.

We are happy just being close friends, as although she finds me attractive it never would have worked out in the sack, apparently, I'm definitely not going to go into detail! and trust me I'm no prude.
Anyway she once said this to me :-

"Phil, do you know how tough it is to not be treated badly?"

I have never ever forgotten this, it was a real eye opener for me, and we often talk about it. Now she counsels and gives talks to groups of women who have been abused by men.
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"The problem with life is that you can only understand it backwards, yet you have to live it forwards..."

 

19.06.2007, 12:20 quote

susiexxx

samatron wrote:
I've never met and started a relationship with a woman older than 29!


Maybe you should give us mature woman a chance Samatron..I'm sure you wouldn't be disappointed.. Very Happy

 

19.06.2007, 12:44 quote

Anonymous

Eldorado47 wrote:
I have a close friend who has been treated badly by men for many many years, and she still keeps attracting them.

We are happy just being close friends, as although she finds me attractive it never would have worked out in the sack, apparently, I'm definitely not going to go into detail! and trust me I'm no prude.
Anyway she once said this to me :-

"Phil, do you know how tough it is to not be treated badly?"

I have never ever forgotten this, it was a real eye opener for me, and we often talk about it. Now she counsels and gives talks to groups of women who have been abused by men.


I can never understand this in some women. My eldest daughter (18 ) says she likes the 'bad boy' image but then can't understand why they live up to the image and treat her badly!! Or am I just an oddball in steering away from guys with that kind of image?!! Confused

 

19.06.2007, 13:04 quote

Eldorado47
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 56 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cambridgeshire
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redoctober wrote:
Eldorado47 wrote:
I have a close friend who has been treated badly by men for many many years, and she still keeps attracting them.

We are happy just being close friends, as although she finds me attractive it never would have worked out in the sack, apparently, I'm definitely not going to go into detail! and trust me I'm no prude.
Anyway she once said this to me :-

"Phil, do you know how tough it is to not be treated badly?"

I have never ever forgotten this, it was a real eye opener for me, and we often talk about it. Now she counsels and gives talks to groups of women who have been abused by men.


I can never understand this in some women. My eldest daughter (1Cool says she likes the 'bad boy' image but then can't understand why they live up to the image and treat her badly!! Or am I just an oddball in steering away from guys with that kind of image?!! Confused


Lol I'm trying to shake it off!

If you are an oddball, don't worry it's just as magnetic as "bad boy" !!

_________________
"The problem with life is that you can only understand it backwards, yet you have to live it forwards..."

 

19.06.2007, 13:38 quote

Anonymous

Eldorado47 wrote:
redoctober wrote:
Eldorado47 wrote:
I have a close friend who has been treated badly by men for many many years, and she still keeps attracting them.

We are happy just being close friends, as although she finds me attractive it never would have worked out in the sack, apparently, I'm definitely not going to go into detail! and trust me I'm no prude.
Anyway she once said this to me :-

"Phil, do you know how tough it is to not be treated badly?"

I have never ever forgotten this, it was a real eye opener for me, and we often talk about it. Now she counsels and gives talks to groups of women who have been abused by men.


I can never understand this in some women. My eldest daughter (1Cool says she likes the 'bad boy' image but then can't understand why they live up to the image and treat her badly!! Or am I just an oddball in steering away from guys with that kind of image?!! Confused


Lol I'm trying to shake it off!

If you are an oddball, don't worry it's just as magnetic as "bad boy" !!


Really?!!! Jeez, think I'd better put it in my profile then. I've always wondered what it was like to have to fight them off Wink

 

22.01.2008, 05:21 quote

samenoname
samenoname Joined: 20 Jan 2008 Posts: 448 Location: United Kingdom, England, Devon
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I married my wife who had, what you so briefly and casually describe as, emotional baggage from the years of sexual abuse at the hands of 5 out of 6 older brothers. She had been raped while she was a teenager. Came from a dysfunctional family meaning that there was no nuclear family. Yet she managed to make peace with her issues and marry me and bring two wonderful kids into this world regardless.
I know many people who think that they are problem free but these days coming from a dysfunctional family or having been abused in one form or another is sadly almost the norm. This includes myself as i was abused as a kid. Mentally, physically and at a later age sexually. Now i can talk about it like i am talking about the weather and it does not sting so much any more. But it took me some time to deal with this and i am as fine as i possibly can be. Like it. Don't like it. Like me. Don't like me. That is entirely up to you just remember when it is your turn to carry the suitcase with you it can just as easily be dropped on the floor with a little help in the end.

 

22.01.2008, 12:21 quote

Bliss23
Bliss23 Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 5269 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Edinburgh
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Everybody has emotional baggage of various sorts. It's really a question of how you deal with it and let it affect your life. Some becomes part of you in such ways that you can never find nor understand it.
But then again. It's the experiences we have (and the way they transform us as beings) that make us desirable or nawt for our future partners and balanced or nawt as individuals. Again, what one might find as a flaw another might find as a quality.
Babblin again. May I be excused? Razz
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www.lizmadsen.com

 

22.01.2008, 16:15 quote

samenoname
samenoname Joined: 20 Jan 2008 Posts: 448 Location: United Kingdom, England, Devon
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Bliss23 wrote:
Everybody has emotional baggage of various sorts. It's really a question of how you deal with it and let it affect your life. Some becomes part of you in such ways that you can never find nor understand it.
But then again. It's the experiences we have (and the way they transform us as beings) that make us desirable or nawt for our future partners and balanced or nawt as individuals. Again, what one might find as a flaw another might find as a quality.
Babblin again. May I be excused? Razz



No! Please continue..... Smile

 

22.01.2008, 16:23 quote

Anonymous

can somebody give some examples of what is considered to be emotional baggage these days?

 

22.01.2008, 17:33 quote

myriad
myriad Joined: 01 Dec 2006 Posts: 1343 Location: United Kingdom, England, Norfolk
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scottie69 wrote:
can somebody give some examples of what is considered to be emotional baggage these days?

I was wondering that same thing, 'cos EVERYONE has a past. No matter how much people have felt that they've dealt with their personal 'emotional baggage/past' it can always be set off with a 'trigger' from something in the 'here and now'.
I think many would be suprised to learn that others actually even thought they had 'emotional baggage.'

 

22.01.2008, 18:07 quote

Anonymous

Personally, I think that the term "emotional baggage" is often bandied around by those that don't understand or tolerate the other person's feelings/point of view etc. (generally speaking, from personal experience, not a blanket stereotype, please note!).
For myself, I interpret "emotional baggage" as anything that I have not dealt with and put behind me in a healthy manner.
I don't think age has anything to do with it - except of course you could say that as one gets older you have more life behind you/maturity and thus hopefully have less "clutter" in your suitcase - no, that should read "MORE clutter, but more neatly packed!" - but on the flip side, better than being emotionally sterile.

 
 
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