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Home >> Love & Relationships >> Why be a gentleman? (nothing to do with sex change btw)
03.08.2008, 22:26 quote
I have to say though myownalias, NOT all women go for jerks. Occasionally a man after a long relationship does a jerk thing like has an affair or whatever but, I say again, not all women 'go for' jerks. We all have the potential for falling off the pedastal our partners put us on. Male or female. No one starts out as a jerk in your eyes.
Web pages like that one are simply written from someone's perspective. The author is not God. Its just an opinion.
If you like, and you have a spare 4 days and nights, I could quote you various world reknown and respected psychologists who can totally discredit and prove that all you say and think is bollocks.
It occurred to me too, a woman might just see the cute side of a bloke and end up going out with him and he ends up being jerk - you knew he was a jerk before she ended up with him simply because you have never viewed him as a potential partner, so you've clocked other aspects of his persona, like the jerk part of him.
Lets face it, when you meet someone who initially catches your eye, do you home in on the bits about them that turn you off, or the bits that you like?
03.08.2008, 22:34 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Lets face it, when you meet someone who initially catches your eye, do you home in on the bits about them that turn you off, or the bits that you like? |
It's really a question of what turns you on.
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03.08.2008, 22:38 quote
Yes that article is only someones opinion as is any of the articles you mention. But I found a lot of those things mentioned in the article to ring true. And that comes directly from some of my female friends mouths. I'm happy being who I am and if a woman wants to go off with someone that will probably end up hurting her then that's fine, it's her loss. At a basic level we are all animals and the female of the species will always go for the alpha male, the strongest if you will, the person that is most likely to be able to provide for the family. The typical nice guy will bend over backwards to please his partner and YES I was guilty of that but time and experience has changed my attitude towards dating!
03.08.2008, 22:38 quote
Exactly it Bliss.
I could meet a guy and go wow I love the way he commands the room/takes control etc. and you look at him and go Nope doesnt interest me, I hate bolshy controlling men...so I end up with him, then one day I say He;s a jerk, i hate the way he tries to control me all the time, and you think Duuuuhhhhhh......
03.08.2008, 22:41 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Exactly it Bliss.
I could meet a guy and go wow I love the way he commands the room/takes control etc. and you look at him and go Nope doesnt interest me, I hate bolshy controlling men...so I end up with him, then one day I say He;s a jerk, i hate the way he tries to control me all the time, and you think Duuuuhhhhhh...... |
Does that mean all women are screwed up?
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03.08.2008, 22:48 quote
| myownalias wrote: |
| Yes that article is only someones opinion as is any of the articles you mention. But I found a lot of those things mentioned in the article to ring true. And that comes directly from some of my female friends mouths. I'm happy being who I am and if a woman wants to go off with someone that will probably end up hurting her then that's fine, it's her loss. At a basic level we are all animals and the female of the species will always go for the alpha male, the strongest if you will, the person that is most likely to be able to provide for the family. The typical nice guy will bend over backwards to please his partner and YES I was guilty of that but time and experience has changed my attitude towards dating! |
Articles: exactly my point. Someones point of view. Always. Rings true for *you* and some of your female friends, and many others, but still a point of view, wont ring true for everybody all the time. The point I was trying to make.
Her loss: Nope, her *choice*. Your point of view that its her 'loss'. Not hers, obviously. "when he hurts her...its her loss" is prophesying and sour grapes. You just have to accept that she doesnt agree with you that you are her best bet.
Alpha male: ??? WTF?? I am 42, had my kids, dont want anymore, not looking for a man to *provide* for me, I can do that for myself thankyoumuchly....
Nice guys bend over backwards...: No, doormats do that. Typical nice guys are always nice according to the people who like typical nice guys. People tend to get bored by and sick of and lose respect for doormats. Different thing. A man can be nice at the same time as retaining his own personality.
03.08.2008, 22:53 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Nice guys bend over backwards...: No, doormats do that. Typical nice guys are always nice according to the people who like typical nice guys. People tend to get bored by and sick of and lose respect for doormats. Different thing. A man can be nice at the same time as retaining his own personality. |
I couldn't help but wonder if you'd consider Benton Fraser a nice guy or a doormat. You don't know him.
Oh **** it anyway. What you're saying just opened another door for me tonite.
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03.08.2008, 22:54 quote
| Bliss23 wrote: | ||
Does that mean all women are screwed up? |
No, it means one woman's meat is another woman's poison.
03.08.2008, 22:55 quote
Open door are far better than shut ones, but the shut ones are more interesting as it is a challenge to get them open.
03.08.2008, 22:56 quote
Cant answer you there Bliss, I've never heard of Benton Fraser (except I think you've mentioned that name on these forums before).
03.08.2008, 22:59 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Cant answer you there Bliss, I've never heard of Benton Fraser (except I think you've mentioned that name on these forums before). |
The mounty from Due South. He is a bit of a looker
03.08.2008, 23:03 quote
Still clueless. Was that a movie? Or a soap on TV? A mounty being a Canadian Horseback Policeman? Is he the actor or the character? The character is a doormat? Hhhmm, if i wasnt so tired and off to bed now....must remember to google benton fraser when i get home tomorrow.
03.08.2008, 23:05 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: | ||||
No, it means one woman's meat is another woman's poison. |
No... I was reffering to... Liking one guy's bs now and hating it later.
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03.08.2008, 23:06 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Still clueless. Was that a movie? Or a soap on TV? A mounty being a Canadian Horseback Policeman? Is he the actor or the character? The character is a doormat? Hhhmm, if i wasnt so tired and off to bed now....must remember to google benton fraser when i get home tomorrow. |
Benton Fraser is the best thing anyone could have after Michael Madsen. PMSL
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03.08.2008, 23:25 quote
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Articles: exactly my point. Someones point of view. Always. Rings true for *you* and some of your female friends, and many others, but still a point of view, wont ring true for everybody all the time. The point I was trying to make. |
Everyone has different experiences so you/I can't tar everyone with the same brush. I can only go by the majority rule of myself and the people around me. As people get older their perspective changes because men/women have different priorities as they mature. My opinion has changed, I just wish that I was more like I am now 15 years ago and I probably would have had more success and maybe even married with kids now, but what happened has happened and I can't do anything about that.
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Her loss: Nope, her *choice*. Your point of view that its her 'loss'. Not hers, obviously. "when he hurts her...its her loss" is prophesying and sour grapes. You just have to accept that she doesnt agree with you that you are her best bet. |
At least in one case it was her loss; she went off with someone she thought was a better option and after sleeping with her, he dumped her and she came running back to me and told her it was her own fault and that I wasn't going to be used as a safe option until she found someone else. That was nearly six years ago now and the last time I saw her she was still single with three kids by three different fathers.
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Alpha male: ??? WTF?? I am 42, had my kids, dont want anymore, not looking for a man to *provide* for me, I can do that for myself thankyoumuchly.... |
Yes, alpha male, you have two men stood at the bar, identical in looks except one difference, one is a skinny shy guy and the other a cocky muscular guy, which one gets left stood at the bar alone?
| rocketgirl wrote: |
| Nice guys bend over backwards...: No, doormats do that. Typical nice guys are always nice according to the people who like typical nice guys. People tend to get bored by and sick of and lose respect for doormats. Different thing. A man can be nice at the same time as retaining his own personality. |
Some guys simply have that *typical* nice guy personality, that's who they are, it's not that they change their personality to please their partners. I have never compromised my beliefs for a women, debate about differences is great but I refuse to change or be changed by anything or anyone.
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