I’m sure this has been said before but I’ve considered two possibilities,

1)

What constitutes a nice guy?, we all have many traits to a persona, some good some not so good, it depends on your point of view, for instance I’d describe myself as being “nice guy”, however as an example one of my best attributes to my mind is how laid back I am to almost any situation, so much so I’m almost horizontal, however to someone else that could be construed as laziness or aloofness or something else. In other words nice to me may not be nice to someone else……or

Maybe it’s a bit more psychological and I’d like your take on this one

2)

I have considered that we don’t like being rejected, it’s easier to reject, I know I’d try to save a relationship if I could having been rejected if I wasn’t ready to give up on that relationship (depending on circumstance of course), maybe not so nice people “reject” more than “nice people” which stimulates the urge to come back for more, maybe there is nothing to fight for when in a relationship with a nice person , relationships just drift or dissolve if there is a problem rather than solving it. Maybe because nice people aren’t so nasty it’s easier for someone to break up with them, whereas, maybe not so nice people it’s harder to do so….
Maybe the hassle factor keeps a partner from rejecting or if they are continually rejected they come back to try to resolve the situation as they are ready to accept the rejection

Anyway I think its time to pack away my soap box for the evening and back to having a cold beer

"maybe not so nice people “reject” more than “nice people” which stimulates the urge to come back for more, maybe there is nothing to fight for when in a relationship with a nice person , relationships just drift or dissolve if there is a problem rather than solving it. Maybe because nice people aren’t so nasty it’s easier for someone to break up with them, whereas, maybe not so nice people it’s harder to do so…."

Hhhmmmm. You really want me to say what I think?
Thats sounds like you are actually saying
Nice = Indifferent.

If you can't be bothered to work on a relationship its because you are too nice?
But on the one hand you seem to be saying that Nice people dont do the rejecting because they are too nice to be so nasty, so said relationship drifts away anyway, on the other hand you seem to be saying Nice people cut loose when things get sticky because they are not nasty enough to do the dumping/rejecting.

The way I see it is this. If you believe a relationship is worth saving, you fight for it. If you dont, you walk away. Simple As.
Before a relationship starts, either you like someone enough to give things a go with them, or you are too lazy/scared to commit/indifferent to enter into anything, so you reject that person, one way or another.
Stuff whether you are "nice" or "not so nice".

Sorry for the ambiguity Rocketgirl..I was saying that nice people tend to get treated with indifference and its easier for a partner to split with a nice person.

Hope that clears up what I was trying to say

i donno.. conflict is a good thing.. freud had a few things right when he described people as having a constant building up and release of anxiety and libido..
i like seeing people with passion, not to say moderation isn't nice, it's just hard to believe that it's consistently real.

I actually read something today on a profile that I found particularly funny that went something like this,

"I'm sick of getting twats for boyfriends. I do admit, though, I am shallow - he must be tall, sexy, have a car, be great in bed and also he should be caring(or some balls)". A woman beater can be 'caring'.


The amounts of profiles I see with, "I'd like a kind guy" is laughable, especially when, "I've been with so many idiots in the past". That's not going to change until you grow up, dear and realise that most "Brad Pitt look-a-likes" are knobbers.

So I came to the conclusion that most women love to argue. LOVE IT. Why? Feck knows. Maybe they have this idea that the guy will try to make up for it by buying her lots of crap. Again I repeat, grow up. Women that say they want a decent fella are lieing, or have.. in fact became a woman, in the sense that she's not stuck in the mindset that she was in when beginning to develop.

Its understandable for a woman to dump a bloke if he's clueless in bed? Teggro, sorry mate but you have a bit of growing up to do as well if you honestly believe that.
Staying with a guy cuz he's a bedroom stud is rather pathetic really.
What happened to a woman enjoying being in bed with a bloke because he is who he is, regardless of his expertise? Enjoying him learning what she likes, and what he likes, together?
It takes two to tango, any woman who dumps a bloke for being clueless in bed is a very shallow woman indeed. Its not a good reason to dump someone.
People break up for all sorts of reasons. Not just because one of them is too nice, too rubbish in bed, too mean, too whatever.
There are a myriad of circumstances that cause a relationship to irretrievably break down.

I would call myself a nice guy, but not a doormat. I'm not gonna be the guy that does whatever my girlfriend says, agrees with every word that comes out of her mouth. If you're wrong, I'm gonna fucking tell you about it, not lie there and take it.

I agree with Teg for the most part...a load of women want the 'nice guy', but want them to look like David Beckham or Vin Diesel, earn shitloads of cash and drive a fancy car, while claiming they want somebody for who they are as a person. Bollocks.

That can be worked on. Even Helen Keller learnt to talk.
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Ah Teggro, sadly there are many women out there - online, and met them in person - who will dump a guy in the blink of an eye if he isnt so masterful in bed ...in other words, isnt psychic and makes HER feel good....those are the kind who it never occurs to ask the man "what do you like?"
It sometimes appears to be the very same women who look down their noses at the guys who've been around the block a few times, you know, the male slappers - the ones with all the experience and expertise that they desire - hahahaha I know I shouldnt say it being a woman myself, but women are a rum lot most the time a man cant win whatever.

Take a look at this webpage, it explains why women always seem to go for jerks.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/85967/dating-secret-exposed-why-nice-guys-finish-last

This is an issue that I struggled with for years. But over time I have learnt not to be a DOORMAT. I had the let's be friends thing as Moose mentioned above but I basically told her it was all or nothing and she choose nothing and I haven't spoken to her since. I like to think I am a nice guy but I refuse to be used as some sort of stepping stone until a bigger stone comes along!