I just don't get it! Maybe you can shed light on this one. All my life I have been a gentleman (without being a complete softy) towards women as that was the way I thought it was done. All I would hear from my female friends that they just wanted a guy to treat them right, open doors, pay them compliments etc. but girls love a jerk, even although they don't admit the fact. My ex left me because I wasnt a prick, she admited to me she loves to have a fight once in a while. Thats not me, what a waist of time. I could never be a jerk towards a woman. Dose this mean I'm doomed forever? or is there hope? Or do I have to wait till all the girls I love grow up and come to their senses?

Totally agree mate. I have been dumped for not being aggressive enough. In other words, she wanted to have arguments with me, and not being too argumentative myself, diffused the situation so as to avoid a row. She thought arguments are good for a relationship, but surely you shouldnt argue for arguing's sake? Unbelieveable.

I've been in exactly the same boat too. There seems to be a pattern emerging..

Magic 1, I think you hit the nail on the head with the phrase "wait till all the girls I love grow up" but sadly some never ever do.
Keep being a gentleman, dont stop being who you are. Some day a lady will cross your path and she'll appreciate that.

LOL...

As a girl i can say that not every girl out there wants a boyfriend to fight with. I wouldnt say i enjoy a cross word now and again, but i sometimes find that it clears the air. I wuoldnt deliberately start a fight though. I dont think?

Anyway, as Rocket girl quite rightly says, guys, dont change yourselves. You are what you are, and should be happy with that. Dont be a push over though, more for your own sanity than anything else!

MWAH !! XX

I have to agree with whats been already said, I have always "been the nice type" never really got me anywhere either!

I really dont believe that 'being a nice guy/gentleman' is the *cause* of you guys not having met your Forever Mate.
Its simply a case of each mate you have met so far has not had "being a nice guy/gentleman" at the top of her agenda.
If I dont admire or particularly want lets say a shoplifter, its hardly surprising if every relationship I have is with a shoplifter and I wonder why the relationship doesnt last long?
If you are a gentleman and your relationships dont work out in the long run, maybe just maybe you are picking partners that arent looking for a gentleman?
Rather than rue how "all the women I meet dont want a nice guy" Just leave them to the not-so-nice-guys, and continue searching for a lass who appreciates who you are.
So to answer the OP - Why be a gentleman? The answer is Because that's who you are, and there are people out there who are wanting someone like you. You just havent met them yet, thats all.

A large part of this problem is that I think what women consider to be "nice guys" differs from what men consider to be nice guys. If we were on the same page this whole thing would never even arise.

I will say that many, if not most, men who consider themselves "nice guys" (and especially the ones who complain that women don't like nice guys) are actually not nice guys but doormats. Agreeing with every word she says, doing what she wants to do all the time, letting her make all the decisions, being at her beck and call, jumping when she says jump. What it comes down to is respect, and no woman is going to respect a man who acts like her little puppy dog, hanging around always eager to please.
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We march to drums of our own choosing;
each of them keeps different time.
As you are free to live your own life -
so I am free to live mine.

Woof!!

Moose has been writing on this subject for ages. He knows what he's speaking of. Said it before and now I'm saying it again.

As for the fun approach to this topic... UHmmm "agriessive!" as John Malkovich would put it in "Rounders".

Also... Most people put a far too big gap between jerks and good guys. I don't think most women are searchin' for jerks or for good guys, but for something in between.
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