have been talking to the girl i like a lot recently we both like each other and have kissed 3 times however i feel like i cant move any further at the moment because one of my mates likes her as well and she hasn't done anything with him and has told him she doesn't like him that way, am i right to e holding back or should i go for it ?

he has been getting pissed off with me talking to her as much as i do at the moment, anyone had any experience of this ? i need to do something soon though because i cant see her hanging around forever ...

thoughts ???

im holding back because he is a good friend been there for me through a lot of stuff and well i dont want to upset him the main probblem i am having with it is am i really doing anything wrong here or just think that i am

my thoughts i like this girl i want to do it but somethin at the back of my head keeps stopping me asking her out on a proper date, he introduced me to her and we got on really well straight away and he got jealous then and told me to back off which annoyed me at the time.... so i dont really know to be honest

Yeah I can understand you not wanting to hurt his feelings and all...but she has made it clear it is *you* she likes, not him....and you like her...so what you gonna do all your life?
Miss out on all the girls that your mate likes? Even if said girls dont feel the same way about him, but prefer you?
What kind of friendship do you have with this guy then? You afraid of him? Doesnt sound a terribly balanced friendship....if his feelings are more important than your potential happiness....I realise you are young and so your mate is probably young also, but its about time he grew up and realised all is fair in love and war, if he sulks, let him. He'll get over it. Do you really need a mate who controls your love affairs?

he is a good friend im not scared off him what im scared of is what he might do to himself he has problems with depression and has self harmed in the paast and i dont want him to do anything stupid like that again over something i have done, im really lsot with what to do about it all.. im struggling to decide whether i would be doing anything wrong or if i am just acting like anybody else would in the situation i have spoke to some of my friends about it and have gotten mixed reactions so looking for more opinions on it
at the moment i am leaning towards asking her out but still wanna be sure it is the right thing to do

DONT LET HIM USE HIS HISTORY OF DEPRESSION AND SELF-HARMING TO CONTROL YOU!!!

(Speaking from personal experience. )

One possibility is to make sure you do not slack off your friendship with him because you are seeing her - lots of people do that and it is hurtful to your pals when you suddenly dont have time for them, then all over them like a rash again when your relationship goes tits up.

Think hard. As I already said, are you prepared to miss out on stuff you want to do - be it ask a girl out, go away to uni or whatever for this friend? I know i am going to sound harsh, but you are not his keeper. If he has problems with self-harming and depression - you are not responsible for him.

thanks for your advice rocketgirl

i know i want to ask her out and i probably will, have had enough friends abandon me for their new girlfriend only to come crawling back to me when they get messed about or it fizzles out so i know i wont do it to him it hasnt happened with previous girlfriends so shouldnt be a problem.

i really dont think i am doing anything wrong so i shouldnt be worring about it but wanted some other peoples opinions as none of my friends have rele been in a situation like this

Its a shame i'm the only one around to chat with you right now, it is late mind!
You know, its a really good thing that you are so mindful of your mate, just like I said mind you dont get manipulated.
Whatever you decide, good luck! x

Yeah, just feck her.

Go with Rocketgirl's advice (and sort of snaithman's). Don't let your friend use his depression as leverage - it won't benefit you and it may help to perpetuate his own feelings of self pity. It sounds cold but of the two it sounds like it should be you showing the direction

Yup what RG said.

Sounds to me like your friend knows exactly what its like to be lonely and to like some one he can't be with. If he really is a true friend and cares about your feelings then he wouldn't want the same thing happen to you.